How do I ask parent if the child stole something?

Question

My daughter received an Ipod touch for her birthday in January.  A few weeks later we had the same girls who are all 10, to a sleep over.  A few days later she noticed her Ipod was missing.  We searched high and low for the Ipod and never found it.  Fast forward until today.  My daughter is at school and one of the girls is at school bragging about her Ipod Touch (with exact same downloads as my daughter). Pretty much every day, my daughter and this girl spend at least 3-5 days a week together on our deck, porch & outside.  She has never brought an ipod over.  The girl denies that this is my daughter's ipod.  My daughter asked her if it was hers and the 1st thing she said was "I didn't steal anything from your sleep over." Maybe there is a chance that this is her ipod touch so instead of me asking the child, I need to know how I should ask her parents without being accusatory. Or should I just count it as a loss?

More Mozz · Accepted Answer

Well it shouldn't be too hard.  If the kid has an ipod that the mother didn't buy, the mother has to wonder where it came from.  I don't know any 10 year olds that buy their own ipods.

Ask the kid's mother to ask the child if she's seen your daughter's ipod, that she lost it on (whatever date).  If she returns to the phone and says, "No she said she hasn't seen it," tell her to please ask her daughter to keep an eye out for it, and add "it looks just like hers."   That should alert her that her daughter is walking around with one.

If she immediately responds that her daughter doesn't have one, that's your opportunity to say, "Yes she does, she has one just like my daughter's."  This too should throw a big red flag.  If it doesn't, the mother is either a dope, in denial, or enables the behavior.

Rachel · Answer

I suggest asking the parents if they bought the girl an Ipod Touch recently. If they say yes, the girl didn't steal your daughter's Ipod. If the parents say no, it's likely she did. To be sure, if they say no continue questioning them. Ask them if they know where she got it, how she paid for music, etc. etc. Eventually, bring up your concerns with them in a non accusatory manor. Say something like: "Well, my daughter had an Ipod like that, all the same songs too, but it disappeared after the sleepover we had a few weeks ago. Maybe it got mixed up in someone's things, and they were afraid to return it. We'd just like it back." Because you've already raised suspicion, they are more likely to be on your side when you bring the issue up. Let the parent's punish the girl if she did indeed steal.

AmberP · Answer

These little girls spend a lot of time together. I'd not worry about sounding accusatory, I'd just go right on over to her parents house and ask them if they had recently got their child an Ipod Touch. If they tell you no, then explain to them that your child's came up missing after she was over for a sleep over and that their daughter has been seen with it in school.
If they are good parents they will get to the bottom of it with no problems, if they don't care or reinforce this type of behavior maybe you should call the police and have them go question the little girl...have them scare her, don't press charges if they find out that it was indeed in her possession but also don't allow her over at your house again.

C · Answer

Hell no is she gonna take something like that, 
You should ask the parents if you can recieve he device back. Explain to them the downloads and her sarcastic remark about not talking it.

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How do I ask parent if the child stole something?

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