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Crossing boundaries in my relationship?

I am a 21 year old male, and I have been with my current boyfriend for about six months. A couple months back, him and I had went through a fight. We resolved it, and moved forward but a little over a week later, I found out he had messaged a guy on a social networking site during this fight- my boyfriend had exchanged numbers with this other guy, and told him he was very cute.

My boyfriend confessed this, and I told the other guy to leave my boyfriend alone. Earlier this week, this guy messaged my boyfriend apologizing for any tension that might have been caused in our relationship, and wanted to hang out with both of us this weekend. I told my boyfriend I was not comfortable with this, because he was flirting with this guy earlier on, and it is not appropriate to still communicate with this person. He thinks I am being stubborn, and can not let the past go. I have forgiven him, but given the past circumstances.. I do not think it is right. Am I wrong for this? What would you do?

Update:

Very true. Though, I did make that kind of confusing because I forgot to add some details.

I told the other guy to leave my boyfriend alone, because my boyfriend told me that there was a guy bothering him.. only did I find out later on, it was my boyfriend bothering him.

Either way, you are right.. if he respected me, he wouldn't question why I do not want my boyfriend and this guy to be around each other. Thanks!

1 Answer

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  • Ok...
    Lv 7
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Totally understandable, and no, you arent wrong for thinking this.

    Here is your first problem though: " I told the other guy to leave my boyfriend alone" You can tell whatever you want to whomever. But they dont have to do anything they dont want to do. The guy is prolly single, so he can flirt with whoever he wants. And unless you pay his bill$, you cant say anything about it.... which means then.... that its up to your BF to STOP the communicating.

    So in other words, you are blaming the WRONG person....

    " it is not appropriate to still communicate with this person. " <--This is correct. But if your bf doesnt see it this way... evidence here: "He thinks I am being stubborn" then that tells you that there is something bigger going on here, not just inappropriate-ness.... YOUR bf is not respecting your wishes.

    If you knew something bothered him, you wouldnt do it anymore, would you? Like if he hates pickles, you'd never give him a sandwich w/ pickles, would you? See what I mean? Same thing, only a much bigger issue. I know this sucks, but babe, you are with the wrong guy.....because this wont change. Esp not just because you want it to. Good luck.

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