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Potty training power struggles?
My daughter is 2.5 years old. We have been potty training for going on 4 months. Her body is definitely ready. She is dry at night and for naps and as long as I put her on the potty she rarely has accidents. She was interested in potty training, I actually put it off a little longer because I had a baby in august and I was just to busy to commit to it.
The problem is she very rarely tells me she needs to go. Also, when I tell her it's time to try the potty she is very resistant, telling me, "no, no, I don't need to go potty!". I will carry her there and by the time we get in the bathroom she is pretty much compliant. She will sit down and pee and be fine about it. If I don't take her she will go in her pants.
I've always been very upbeat about training, no shaming or anything like that. I've come to realize that we are engaged in a power struggle that I can't win. I'm not sure exactly what course of action I should take now. If anyone has experience with this, it would be very appreciated.
PS I tried giving m&ms as an incentive and it makes no difference.
6 Answers
- SybilLv 58 years agoFavorite Answer
Wow, you have gone about this in a very enlightened way. You even realize that it has somehow turned into a powerstruggle. It is an awful part of being a parent. Your kids love you enough to make you suffer because it's pretty safe and just practising life for them.
I recommend that you tell your daughter you aren't going to get upset about the potty training. It is really her decision and she will do it when she is ready. After that she may feel a bit discombobulated for a few days, not knowing quite what she wants. Let her tell you. Offer to let her start wearing diapers again is she wants to put off the potty. But let her know that until she is willing to tell you what she wants it is the only alternative. I'm guessing it will work itself out. Sometimes little ones just pick out the worst things to struggle over but they are still pretty green at this life thing.
Ultimately, the very best thing a parent can do is to respond immediatly when the child says 'Mom I have to potty.' but it sounds like you are quite ready on that level. Good Luck.
Source(s): Bein a Mom - ?Lv 68 years ago
Let her decide when she is ready to go potty. Our almost 3 year old had a big interest around 18 months, so we went and bought her underwear and a potty chair. She went a few times and showed no more interest. So we left it and figured she would let us know when she was ready. Well at about 29 months she came out with her underwear and wanted to wear them, she never looked back. She was ready and we just let her lead us. She even told us when she no longer wanted to wear a diaper at night! If you really want to do an incentive then find something she likes, we used marshmallows for a little while but then she would just go squeeze out a little just to get a marshmallow :)
Most children are not ready until closer to 3, so I would suggest just letting it be and just because you are ready doesn't mean she is. Don't forget they can make up their minds on some things and this is definitely one of them.
- 5 years ago
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- 5 years ago
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- ?Lv 44 years ago
there's a e book referred to as "each and every little thing you want to verify about potty practise" it helped us lots! My son became 3 previously we were given him completely experienced. you won't be able to have a a chance conflict with him or he will proceed to close down. There could be NO detrimental body of recommendations with practise in any respect or it is going to reason important set backs. He also will be having themes with you being pregnant, many little ones do or perhaps after being potty experienced for months or perchance a year or so could have injuries. attempt to contain him in any respect with the being pregnant you may. assure him that he will be a large brother and also you're going to adore both him and the infant a similar. also use the very undeniable actuality that you're going to choose his help with the infant. He has to get potty experienced so he can coach the infant. perhaps purchase a doll that pees and enable him "coach it" you merely could make it relaxing. I recognize that's amazingly problematical yet you may be very smooth at the same time as it includes potty practise. If he soils himself tell him "that's ok it became an twist of destiny" and take him to the potty and tell him "next time you want to attempt to make it to the potty ok". If he has the problem of putting out off his moist outfits perhaps help him out slightly i recognize you opt for him to do it himself yet this also will be a way he's making an attempt to get your interest. it is a bonding device for him. merely as breast feeding or cuddling with an infant is forming a bond with a infant. With him being followed he would no longer sense that complete bond ,for this reason the shutting down. It takes distinctive patience and smooth loving care to finish the potty practise section. solid success!
- 8 years ago
ok sounds mean but make her clean her self it works sound like she it trying to act like new baby treat her like a baby and when she wants a toy tell her big girls gets new toys and babies got diapers and bottles but after i made my son clean his bottom the thought it was gross and never had a problem again