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Germans and Vietnamese: touching women they just met?

I have a friend who is studying abroad in Teubingen. The first day she's there, this Vietnamese guy who claims he's been in Germany for 8 years lets her use his internet (they don't have wifi in those dorms and her internet isn't set up yet) then asks her if she wants to go to the bar.

He doesn't speak English and she wants to practice her German.

She says yes, being underage in the US but not in Germany, and not wanting to pass up going to a bar. On the walk over there, he keeps putting his arm around her waist. She just steps further to the side away from him as they walk to the bar, but every once in a while he tries it again.

Then at the bar he pays for her drink faster than she can refuse. She wants to tell him she has a boyfriend then ditch him, but doesn't know the way back to the dorm building. Then on the way back, he puts his arm around her waist again as they walk, and again, she steps to the side away from him as they walk. When they get back to their building, they take the elevator up to the floor they both live on.

When the elevator door opens, she tells him that she has a boyfriend and quickly leaves the elevator and goes to her dorm room.

That was a few weeks ago.

Today, he invited her to hang out with him tomorrow and practice her German. She suggests 7PM and initially he says yes, then says no because he has a Judo class at that time, then asks her to meet him at 10PM. Being naive and not very assertive, she says yes. They agree to meet in the common kitchen of their dorm floor.

Um... should she worry about this dude?

I don't think Germans or Vietnamese are very "physical contact with strangers they just met" type cultures, so... do you think this guy is up to no good?

Or is there a cultural explanation for this?

What's going on?

Is there a reason to worry?

4 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Obviously he is trying to sudjuce her and lour her into bed.

    Nobody in ANY culture buys someone free drinks for no reason.

    She should probably not go near him anymore.

    It will not end well.

    The more she hangs around him, the more he will feel "entitled" to have sex with her.

  • Athene
    Lv 6
    8 years ago

    Vietnamese men would NEVER touch a woman unless he is planning to have sex with her and thinks she is making herself available. Touching is utterly taboo in their culture under normal circumstance. To give you an idea of how extreme this is, I once touched a taxi driver on the arm there without thinking, (I'm female) and he reacted like I had electrocuted him with 240 volts - that's a normal reaction in their culture.

    Germans are like Americans or any other north European culture,. Touching is not so extremely taboo but they are not touchy people, if a guy puts his arm round your waist he is only interested in one thing, adn also, if you let him know you don't want it, HE BACK OFF. If man does not respond to a woman's negative reaction, he should be regarded as dangerous.

  • 8 years ago

    It has nothing to do with culture, it's all about flirting.

    I disagree with Laurence, once I bought things to eat for 4 girls

    and I didn't have any intention, I just was being friendly.

    Later one of them, which was paranoid, ask me,

    "why are you doing this?" Some girls are always defensive,

    this same girl used to act like that all the time with others.

  • JohnH
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    certainly so. the germans are bit stiff and like to keep their distance.

    she should truly be careful and better avoid this guy. or look for woman guide.

    J

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