So i'm feeling hopeless these days like nothing will ever go right for me....?

Its been 2 years since I graduated from university and have had no luck finding a real job which frustrates me! I feel as I have no friends because I basically alienated most of the people I cared about from high school once I began university to focus on school. I work retail now and enjoy the people I work with, but I feel I will again lose them once I get out of there. I feel like I'm going to be alone forever with no one to share a life with, seeing as I have never been in a relationship which is mostly due to my insecurities. I try and put on a good show when I am around people, but its been going on for way too long now and I don't know how much longer I can continue this charade. I'm a total nerd, which I'm not ashamed of in the least, but its hard to find others like me who can accept my crazy enthusiastic reactions to things they have no clue about. I do have one person I text a lot cause we live in different cities, but I feel as if I'm bothering her most times so I try hard not to message her, because she has her own life and friends that she can actually spend time with. Then there are the times I feel like giving up completely, like right now. I'm not going to get better over night and feel as if I should just let those that I know go and let them forget about me. There are actually times I want to text my friend this, but never do cause I'm too much of a coward and I don't want to upset her. I'm way too nice even when I feel depressed and I always seem to put others happiness ahead of my own, which really sucks let me tell you. I also don't usually share my feelings, so this is really out there for me, but I needed some kind of release. I could keep writing, but there's no point, none of you reading this will ever know just how much I actually hurt each and everyday and how hard it is to be me. Not even God has helped me, I'm sure he made me the way I am for a reason, but clearly WHY was lost in translation along the way.

Thanks to anyone who reads this and cares or even sympathizes. I know I'm not the only one with issues, but its not like I've met anyone who can relate and share things with and not feel so alone.