My fiance's parents refuse to contribute or help out at our wedding...?

Traditionally, it's all paid for by the bride's side. Often the groom's family would give a dinner, say, on the night before, and nowadays the groom's family often make a significant contribution, such as buying all the wine. However, if they have six unmarried daughters still at home, they may be apprehensive about paying for weddings to come. It all depends on their circumstances. Your fiance's parents sound unwilling to be generous - that's all one can guess from your post - but they may have good reasons. Do you have to have a very expensive wedding, though? I'm amazed by what people feel they have to spend these days. A simple ceremony at 3 pm, a nice tea party for friends and family, and something to toast the couple is all that's required. Some of the happiest weddings (and marriages) are some of the smallest and least ostentatious. Don't get all hung up on money on this lovely occasion.

My first reaction was - no, don't ask them. But after I thought about it for a minute I thought it is possible that they are just being polite by not asking to help because of tradition. How about, the next time you and your future mother in law a talking about the wedding, say something about your parents not being able to help because of hard financial times. It may occur to her, at that point or after she has a chance to think about it, that you need their assistance. Although, I would completely understand if you didn't want to bring up your parents financial situation. In that case, maybe tell her you're having trouble covering all the expenses and see if she offers rather then asking.

I understand that you think they're being selfish, but you've asked this in the etiquette section, so that's how I'll respond. Your avatar is female, so I'll have to assume you are too, although you didn't say. If that is the case, and you are the bride, then your future in-laws are under no obligation to pay for any part of the wedding. The bride's father pays.

If you want to buck tradition in favor of what you see as more modern financial values, then go ahead. Just don't necessarily expect them to. They are not wrong here. After all, they're being pretty generous with their wedding gift.

I get that you're saying that you see this woman spending money frivolously, yet she won't spend money on you when you ask for it. The point is, you shouldn't be asking. You think she's being selfish, but she probably thinks you are.

Do yourself a huge favor and buy an etiquette book. It will save you tons of grief and hurt feelings.

The etiquette book would tell you that the bride's family pays for the wedding and the groom's family is responsible only for the rehearsal dinner.

There's no reason for you to be offended or insulted at all at this point. If your fiance's parents refuse to pay for the rehearsal dinner, then you have the right to be concerned. But at this point, whether they buy DVDs or send themselves to Europe every year it makes no difference and is none of your concern. It's not their job to pay for any part of the wedding other than the rehearsal dinner.

Best of luck... and you're going to be a bride, so go buy that etiquette book!

My husband's father never contributed to our wedding either...my parents and sister paid for the whole thing...some people are just cheap that way, what are you going to do. My husband's father gave us 1000.00 for our wedding...for the 4 of them. 2 of them were in our wedding.

Don't be offended, it's just the way they are...for instance, my husband's father spends all his money at the casino...doesn't even give his own son a birthday present on his birthday...nothing on Christmas either...some people are just "Cheap"...don't expect much from them over the years of your marriage.

I would be offended. And that entire Brides family pays that's old school. I am sure they will show up to all of the events and partake in food drinks and so on others paid for. Didn't mention how he felt?

At 24 you are responsible to cover your life expenses, including a wedding. Expectations are planned disappointments. So plan on paying for your nuptials and celebration; enjoy all your guests irregardless on their ability to give lavish gifts. Some people have yet to discover how nice it feels to give; others may have been able to afford only the basics for so long and need to indulge themselves for awhile. Whatever their motivation, welcome their blessings and emotional support. Don't start your life journey together with resentment. They may surprise you in other ways. Best wishes.

there are rules governing this. the groom's family may pay for the rehearsal dinner. I couldn't afford it and it was my son's 3rd and final wedding. he even paid for our lodging at the second wedding. we are on food stamps. give me a break. you are getting off to a bad start demanding from his family. cool it.

It would be nice but they obviously don't. Do they like you? Can your fiancée ask them why they can't help out? Don't be petty, his mother enjoys shopping and buying DVDs. If your fiancée talks to them and they still wont help, don't hold a grudge. Its not worth it. The most important thing is you're gettinng married, not who paid for what

Yeah that's really terrible.

Even so there's not much you can do. It would be out of place for you to ask them to contribute. If your fiancé won't talk to them I say don't invite them to the wedding!