Can't sleep thinking of people I've wronged...Help?

Kinda long...please help....and no bashing...I have always had issues with insomnia. When I was younger I was involved with drinking alcohol and taking prescription medicine. When I was a child I was raped and turned to those things to cope with my pain and I hurt a lot of men. Men who deeply loved me. Like the love you see in movies. Now I am older I have a husband I have a family I haven't even sipped a beer in over a year or taken any kind of drug. I have apologized to the. men I have taken advantage of and hurt. I have finally healed from the tragic things I dealt with in my childhood. But for some reason on. some nights like tonight I think of the ways I treated people who just wanted to help and I get sick to my stomach and I hurt so bad I can't sleep and all I want to do is explain how deeply sorry I am. These thingss happened years ago but I hurt some great people and this has been bothering me since I have. gotten my life together. I don't know what to do. I hate feeling like this. Can someone give me advice? I want to feel better. I want to sleep.