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Advice from the gay community.. Please Help me!!!!!?
So I'm 21 years old and im a bi sexual male. I've been dating a girl for the past year or so.. She is well aware of my sexuality and she's okay with it. Our relationship has been okay except for the fact that she doesn't know how to give me space. She wants to be everywhere i am at all times. I think its because she lacks trust in me. Idk why tho i have never done anything to cause her to not trust me. SHe stop hanging out with all of her friends and have lost some of them because she always puts me before them and she expects me to do the same. She expects me to bring her with me whenever i go hang out with my friends. I don't have a problem with that as we have all hung out SO many times, But sometimes i need to be with my friends away from her. I honest am just frustrated with it and i told her that yesterday because she was upset about me spending the entire day with my mom on mothers day and not spend more than 2 hours with her. ARE YOU SERIOUS? its freaking mothers day, You are not my mother. So i voiced my opinion to her last night and i told her that i didn't know how much longer i can put up with it. She thinks that i want to break up with her so i could go date a guy and she started blaming herself saying I'm so bad that im going to lose you to a guy. I care about this girl a lot. She has been an awesome friend and i don't want her to think that there is a guy because there isn't. there is nobody. I'm just fed up. I can i get her to understand that i am leaving and its not for another guy or girl. That its for my own sanity, without breaking her fragile heart so bad. I know she's going to be hurt but i would like advice on how to make it hurt the least. Like i said i value our friendship and maybe if she can give me some space and understand that that's all that i'm asking for, maybe i'll be willing to get back with her, because besides that everything has been awesome. Anyways, PLEASE help me. Im asking the LGBT community because i get the best advice from here. More open-minded people leads to more respectable answers.
4 Answers
- ?Lv 78 years agoFavorite Answer
Honestly, I think you should tell her the truth. I would show her this post exactly as you wrote it. There was nothing here that shouldn't upset her, and it's absolutely honest and fair. You sound like you have a very good head on your shoulders, and she sounds a little insecure, possibly because of your sexuality, but she might be the same if you were straight and she was jealous of other women. Regardless, who you might be interested in when you're apart from her is irrelevant. Talk to her. If she doesn't want to lose you, it seems that she can keep you fairly easily by changing her behavior.
- Anonymous8 years ago
I'm bi, too, and I trust my wife--and she trusts me.
This young woman does not trust you. My guess is that some jackass told her that bisexual people ALWAYS cheat because they are NEVER satisfied with just one sex.
That's total bullcrap. And you can show her this answer, if you like.
What "bisexual" means is that out of all the possible partners, you chose HER. If she refuses to accept that, I suggest you break up, because I've been in a relationship with a possessively jealous, suspicious person, and -- well, maybe you should get her a download of Elvis' "Suspicous Minds."
Love can't flourish without trust. Jealousy is not a sign of love, it's a sign of insecurity. And her anxiety is going to wreck your relationship and your friendship.
Also, check out the used book sites and get this gal a copy of "Women Who Love Too Much." Her dumping her friends to glom onto you is also not love, it's a neurotic control game.
Your girlfriend needs to either get hold of herself or get a therapist, because if she were deliberately trying to drive you away I don't think she could do a better job. She really sounds like a troubled young woman.
- Anonymous8 years ago
Your girlfriend is very attached to you and she doesnt want to lose you. She wants you to be as attached to her as she is to you, which is hard to deal with sometimes because you obviously have a life outside of her. Tell her that sometmes you just have other things to do than always be with her, and you really care about her, but you need a little space. She also might not have much of a life outside of you and you might be all she has.
- 8 years ago
You should show her this post.
I dont understand why people think just because your "bi" your gonna automactly cheat..like wtf straight people cheat all the fcking time..whats the difference? Explian to her as long you will live yku will never cheat on her...and if she dosnt get better with the trusting thing just break it off cuz you cant have a relationship without trust....
