I ask your opinion on my poem.?

Question

SWEET DMITRIY


      Dmitriy, sweet man

      Do I do too much or too much less?
      Your letters make me smile
      Your thoughts make me almost cry
      For all of this, I am so glad...
      For this, I want you as a best friend
      I hope you feel the same...
      I am your Bret...
      Hope you are my Dmitriy
      Hoping we meet soon!
 
      From Your Bret

neonman · Accepted Answer

Glad to see you again. As to the poem, perhaps edging on the sappy, corny side, but if that is what you want, then it's fine. I would suggest taking this and using two strong metaphors to build a poem around.

I want to be that favorite blanket you lay upon
the wind that always hears your words
the warmth of a well banked fire to give cheer
I want to be nothing more- than your Bret

5 ft 7 Texas Heaven · Answer

I enjoyed the sentiment and please forgive me bein a brat, but have a suggestion or two.

The first line, especially combined, with L2, sounds like something has been left out?

L 3.   again no offense, but after "thoughts" what about "nearly cause me to cry." ?

In all, I hope the two of you meet soon.

PANDORA Πανδώρα · Answer

I find it sad, and hope it's not a reflection 
of how you might be feeling at the moment.
Either way, I have never found you scary,
and am delighted to see you posting...x

Anonymous · Answer

I'm going to pass on this one, your pic scares me, if its you that is....

Don't get me wrong my fellow man I'm not in any way that way inclined, psychic I mean.

You have a nice day among it all.

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I ask your opinion on my poem.?

4 Answers