What to do about an overprotective dad?

Yes this sounds like the typical teenager girl angst stuff, hear me out first please though.

I know my dad loves me. In his own way. I feel like he switches his attention on and off his family, he's very invested in his work - not that I blame him, it's just sort of the way I've been brought up. All my life I've had a sort of loving but distant relationship with my dad, which works best when we're not talking about our own lives but about something sufficiently intellectual and in short, spread out, healthy doses. He's quite a typical businessman type, with the sort of grandstanding and alpha male attitude that extends to family life in many ways. He's also really stubborn which is a problem waiting to occur, as I am also very, very stubborn; but until recently we've sort of side stepped this issue, mainly since I've been more or less willing to agree with him until now for the sake of keeping the peace.

Recently, I think two things have happened: 1) I suddenly grew up (Wow 16th birthday coming up in a few months.. how did that happen?), and 2) He's suddenly gone through a panic attack and realizes that he wants to spend more time with his family. So being an asian dad he gets very overprotective about things like social meetings (He has blatantly stalked me / showed up unexpectedly when I've hung out watching movies with friends, or went to have dinner etc.). We've had the whole underage drinking talk, and yes we've had the sex talk, we've pretty much laid down ground rules there, but whenever I ACTUALLY go out he tends to freak out, call for me at 11, then rush me home asap while not talking to me at all on the ride back. I've tried addressing the problems we have, but in the heat of the moment when we try to talk things out he tells me that I "don't understand what it's like to be a father" and shushes me (obviously I don't understand what it's like to be a father, I'll concede that) and talks (almost literally) in a stream of chinese idioms, and so the conversation never happens until later, where we have a big blowout and then we both apologize to each other and everything repeats once again later.

I think the problem comes down to the fact that, although he's such a great person he's no longer my role model for everything, I've grown out of that, but he hasn't really, and he still thinks that I should follow his path in everything, despite the fact that we actually have really differing interests / fields of passion, and ultimately I simply can't continue a charade of being the perfect asian daughter, I feel like I will really regret not making use of my time now until I get old, and I'm still making my way through the world, I want to be able to experience that without hurting my dad.

So ultimately all that comes down to: How can I convince my dad to let me live my own life / make my own mistakes, and to talk to me about all of the above without it coming to a blowout that will hurt both of us? Help everyone :/ I have no idea what to do.