Plein-Air Portraits C/C?

Question

The humidity has encased everything in a strangle hold.
      Not even a finger of a palm frond scratches at the atmosphere.
      The stretched grey beards of Spanish moss
       hang sullen and stiff
       as stalactites from the thirsting oaks.

       Mosquitoes cling to the side of the house-
       too lazy to struggle through the heavy air.
       A squirrel stares stupidly at thrown bread,
       perched passively 
       on a dead dry limb,
       exhausted.

       Barely breathing,I sympathize with
       the shriveling scorpion who has 
       found solace on the sidewalk
       in its early endless sleep.

       Even the sunset is locked into place
       amongst pallid pink cardboard clouds
       seemingly pasted
       upon the sky.

       The stillness is only broken by
        sweat beads rolling at a snail's pace
        from my forehead
        leaving behind salted trails
        and stinging eyes,
        and I curse at the rain
        which stubbornly
        refuses to fall.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I really enjoyed reading this.  It actually made me feel a little smothered and thinking of my inhaler!

PANDORA Πανδώρα · Answer

The stifling humidity is no better here in London Town.
However, your poem is great, with vivid and memorable lines:-

Even the sunset is locked into place
amongst pallid pink cardboard clouds
seemingly pasted
upon the sky.

I have only recently begun to look in on your poetry, and I am so glad of it...

neonman · Answer

Overall, I enjoyed. Some minor suggestions to think about: humidity (a measure of moisture) would a more descriptive word set the scene-  even something like a dampen wash rag for example?)

"The stillness is or (seems)  "Leaving behind salted trails or "steps"

"and stinging eyes... (perhaps consider: (while I curse at the rain)  (two ands together?)
"and I curse

Kylie W · Answer

Very good poem, I especially like the lines "Even the sunset is locked into place / amongst pallid pink cardboard clouds" it's really beautiful. If you haven't already, you should join Allpoetry.com It's a great community for poets. You can find me there :)

cassie58 · Answer

You've got it hot there Tina?  I love the feeling you have created in this poem. Everything is just strugglng so. We have had plenty of rain here lately, wish I could direct some your way in exchange for some heat.

Dave · Answer

Gonna get worse the next few days!!

Good poem.

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Plein-Air Portraits C/C?

6 Answers