This has been troubling me for quite some time.....?

It's been stuck in my head and I've been having dreams about it. I decided to write it all down like a little story. I'm not sure what to make of it. It's my first draft and It's not for publishing it's just a personal story I might develop. What do you think?

We killed ourselves a hundred times because it was worth it; because if our love could not rival the pain, then why bother?

When I first met her she was cold and naked. I didn't touch her so I can't really say she was cold, she certainly looked it though. I tried hard not to look at her. Her body. I had to help her though and to do that I would need to see her, that's what I told myself anyway. I walked towards her slowly. I knew I couldn't stare at her forever but I had to try. From what I could see she had black hair (or maybe dark brown, it was too hard to tell the difference in the dark). She was small, very small and her bones were clearly visible through her flesh. She looked up at me, her eyes frightened and accusing. I hated her for that, she made me feel ashamed and I hated her for it. She opened her mouth to speak but I didn't let her. I ran in the opposite direction and kept running even though I knew she was not following. That day I lost my way and my tears littered the yellow sky until I was brought back home.

We became friends shortly after. In fact she was my only friend and she was all I needed. Every night we would fly to Nem and sleep under that same yellow sky. We didn't understand life and we didn't want to. It was easier to enjoy the beauty of a butterfly than it was to understand or question why it became a butterfly in the first place. That was our philosophy.

However it didn't last forever. Soon we became self conscious.

We couldn't look at each other the same way again. The friendship had past, the colour had faded and all that was left was our raw human instincts.

I could never forget it, the first time we lay together. It was dirty, loud and aggresive but I had never felt more alive. The next couple of times were just as awkward but we soon got the hang of it.

From then on we swore to never part. We destroyed the world together and brought it back again. There was nothing holding us back; we were immortal.

Through pain and emotion we thrived. Nothing could harm us because we were protected, love was our protector. Or so we thought. Time had changed us, made us Gods with human hearts. We couldn't handle the strain so we lashed out. We broke things and walked away, but that didn't settle our appetite. We couldn't survive unless we were in pain, or were inflicting it. We quickly understood this and turned on each other.

I hunted her and she hunted me for centuries and we never grew tired. We tore up the sky, the yellow sky and we caused chaos. We cried when we caused the other pain but secretly we enjoyed it. It was our food, our sex, our love.

We killed ourselves a hundred times because through that brief moment of chaos we felt alive. If our love could not rival the pain then why bother?

This was true love. This was our love.