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Using Gift Certificates and Coupons Frowned On For Dates, Smiled On After Marriage?
I get the impression that it is sort of taboo to use "alternatives" for money, like gift certificates/cards and coupons during the dating phase of the relationship (as if someone needed to prove they can "afford" to take out another), but after marriage there is a switch to it being considered frugal to do so (as if since it is now "our" money being saved, it is okay to do that now).
Opinions?
Does the fact that the gift certificates/cards were purchased by myself at a particular time when I was able to earn a lot of frequent flyer miles doing so? Serious example was that purchasing $1200 worth of such gift certificates/cards from five different restaurants during a special promotion period earned me enough miles to fly a special flight award that was a trip to Japan, Hong Kong, Australia and New Zealand that was 33 days long and 15 flights in international business class for 150,000 miles earned through that promotion plus less than $200 in taxes and fees. Such manipulation of promotions earned me more than Two Million Frequent Flier Miles in just over three and a quarter years, also earning lifetime mid-tier elite flying status.
Does that make a difference?
Are coupons, like from the Entertainment books, which generally are only useful when purchasing two meals, a turn off?
Just trying to understand the perceptions and interpretations of the opposite sex, but welcome opinions and experiences from everyone.
Thanks.
To clarify, I mean using gift certificates/cards I bought myself to pay for meals, not received nor given as gifts.
The same for using coupons--by the way, the Entertainment books start at $25 each pre-ordered and go down in cost during the year, but have hundreds to thousands of dollars worth of savings in them, depending on how many you can use. But nearly universally the discount is on the 2nd meal. And I do activities with guy friends, only sometimes with a meal afterwards at fast food or such place where we can debate the trials and tribulations on the day's activities--not the kinds of places that are trying to attract business in the Entertainment coupon book.
3 Answers
- 8 years agoFavorite Answer
Generally, I think the better birthday presents show that you know the person beyond what a mere stranger would know. So a gift card would be appropriate if it were some place that you knew she would enjoy, perhaps some place she frequents even when she is paying or has mentioned that she would like to go to. I have certain restaurants that I like, for example, and I could imagine a gift certificate to one of those restaurants would be a great gift. However, if it were for some place that I had never heard of, or especially some restaurant that served food that I would never, ever eat, I would feel like the person buying the gift for me didn't even know me. I mean, the thought is there, at least a little bit of thought I suppose, but the gesture would be otherwise useless.
As far as the coupons, I'm not a fan of coupons, because they're often more trouble than they're worth and cause you to buy more than you actually want. If you have to pay money to get your birthday present, what kind of a present is that? Of course you don't want to pay for your own birthday present. It's expected that the person giving the present should bear the entire price of the gift.
In my opinion, if we're just dating, and you don't know what to buy me, don't bother-- wait until we're closer and better acquainted before making such gestures. If you have just begun dating someone and don't know her that well, and you're determined to get something for her birthday, keep it simple and generic-- buy some flowers and a greeting card.
If you're really broke and can barely pay your bills, and this girlfriend is really with you for more than your money, then I am sure she will understand why you couldn't do something expensive for her birthday and instead opted for some cheaper gesture. (Making your own card can be more personal anyway.) However, if you're rich and saying you can't afford even a small birthday present, it would look as if you are being disingenuous about your affection for her.
I don't think these rules change when you get married. If you're truly broke when you're married, of course you can't spend a lot of money, and of course if share cares about you for more than your money, she would understand that. If you're rich and married, and still refuse to get her a real birthday present, I think that would be frowned upon too.
- ?Lv 48 years ago
i think when 2 people are dating,they dont know each other and if a guy does that,it seems like the girl isnt worth anymoney and that u r trying not to spend anything on her.and what is sexier than a generous guy and what is more annoying than a stingy one.but after marriage you know each other and you know how much u r loved.so u dont need money u only need love...and money lol
