My parents told me i'm adopted?

You have a right to be angry. This was not fair to you. This is something you should have been told from the get go. I don't understand why your folks waited so long. Don't let this wreck whatever plans you may have had before you knew. If you were planning on college, go to college. But I would also see a counselor to discuss your feelings and how to cope. Perhaps even eventually a family counselor for you and your parents so they can understand, acknowledge and ask for your forgiveness. I don't know why some people seem to think you just sit down one day and drop a bomb like that. But some do. I was adopted at 13. Sent to a children's home by my Aunt at age 6 when my grandmother became ill. My parents died when I was a baby. She wouldn't let anyone adopted me and finally my adoptive family took her to court and won the right to adopt me. I was angry at her for a long time. She said she just was not a kid person but I was her only family. One of the reasons I studied to become a counselor was to help myself learn to cope. I forgave her for being selfish and self centered. Turns out she was really just afraid that by losing custody of me she would lose my grandmother's house that she lived in. She was right, she did. She was able to stay but had to start paying rent which paid my way thru college. Don't let this be a set back that sends you into a depression or become self destructive.

I'm not adopted but I think that you should still have an open relationship with them just like you had before they told you, They did adopt you and they are your parents. They raised you and gave you anything you ever needed. It sounds tough just learning that, it doesn't feel real and you don't know what to think. Ask them any questions you may have. They still love you they just had a misfortune with their first baby, & they wanted another to love. Naming you after their first child is just their way of coping with the baby's situation. I think if it bothers you that much join a group or talk to a counselor, or maybe even a good friend. I would also look into finding your real parents, if you're wondering why they put you up for adoption, or what your situation was. But e careful about that sometimes it wasn't worth meeting your blood parents. But it might teach you a good lesson and inspire you. Either way you're adopted parents are your parents they're the only ones you've ever known, don't look at them any differently and just embrace that they did tell you rather then never, and they did so fairly young. Thanks, sorry if this was long

Happy Birthday!

I'm sorry this was dumped on you on your special day. This is not the way anyone should find out they were adopted. You have every right to feel angry. You've been lied to for 15 years.

I'm an adoptive mom, so this isn't exactly my forte. But I read quite a bit written by adoptees. You may want to consider joining an adoptee support group, getring involved in Facebook adoptee pages or finding a counselor that specializes in adoption. Try to find people that have walked this road before you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY<3

My mom told me I was adopted when I was around 11-12 years old. Once she told me, I went straight to my room, and cried. I didn't know how to react, I was just shocked. So, I guess my mom decided to let me know, after she watched a soap opera about some girl who's adopted, and later, found her biological mother. Maybe, if it wasn't for that soap opera, my parents wouldn't have let me know, until later. I'm now 17, about to be 18 on Oct. My mom said that my dad (biological) was older than my mom (biological), they made "love", and I guess once he would out she was pregnant, he had left her. She also said that my mom tried to kill me, but I was already big. And my parents (now) gave my mom (biological) some money to go back to where she lives and be with her mom. She said she didn't tell her mom. Idk if I should even believe this, they've never met my biological parents. They adopted me while I was 3 months old, malnourished etc. It wasn't till I was 4-5 years old until they took me to Guam with them (paper work was finished). What they did was wrong, that's Not cool! The people who say if they treated you right, it shouldn't really bother you. They don't know why it's like finding out you're adopted. Being treated right, but being lied to for years ... that's not okay. I'm sorry they had to do you like that :( Keep your head up! You're an adult, you can get out, if you want.

www.adultadoptees.org

Wow....happy 18th birthday.....Im sorry that your gift from your parents was a bombshell.

You should have been told from the day you were brought home the truth about where you came from.

Take with a grain of salt the posts made from people on here who tell you that you should be taking your parents feelings into consideration.......they have not one single clue what it feels like to discover that youve lived a lie for 15 years. Head on over to the group Ive posted the web address for above. Adult adoptees is a group just for adoptees. You will find support and empathy for YOUR feelings, without all the bull dust about how you need to take into consideration the feelings of people who have lied to you all your life.

I'm sorry they never told you, I really am. Personally I think that the DCFS has too much power and they can just remove childern from homes with no say from them. There was a story of another hot car death so they removed the 16 year old from their home. If I was that 16 year old I would probably go ballistic and sue them or run away back home.

Adoption is always such a sensitive subject.

Look on it that your parents chose you, a unique individual to love and care for and raise as there own. I suppose they thought that at eighteen you would cope better with the revelation.

My older sister was adopted and my parents told her when she was really young it change her attitude to us her brothers and sisters and she bullied us and criticised us without mercy. She isolated herself from family and society and she is single and in my opinion unhappy and 42 years old.

I wish she hadn't found out at all in a way.

I guess their isn't a good time to realise you adopted but its s pretty special to be adopted and its really hard to get accepted to adopt you have to really want a child to put yourself through the process.

My wife and myself are trying to adopt a child because we feel we have something special to offer.

I suppose they told you now incase you wanted to seek a birth parent or relatives.

Don't be angry with them they saw you through a lot and helped you with a lot, your just a bit shocked which is fair really.

Good luck and talk with them about how you feel..its just shock they might find you a counselling session.

Whoa....they should have come clean with that years ago. Happy Birthday to you, and I'm so sorry that's how they told you, on that day of all days. You have every right to be upset, feel weird, angry, etc. I would recommend counseling (make them pay for it) to help figure out your emotions and sort through everything.

Look on it from a different perspective. They could of lied to you for 15 years as they didn't think that you could cope with it when you where young. They probably did it for your good so it's normal to be angry, I guess, but if they treated you well than that doesn't matter. Your biological parents aren't necessarily better than foster parents.

just think they have brought you up for most of your life and probably better than your biological parents would've done.

maybe have a shorts break somewhere to clear your mind of it all. there must be a reason why they didn't tell you sooner, just be nice to them and try not to get to upset over it