Was this inappropriate of my teacher or am I being paranoid?

Question

Hey:) I'm so sorry this question is so long (more of a novel! haha), and I really do appreciate it if you can be bothered to read the whole story)

 So I'm a 16 year old girl and I've been having private guitar lessons with the same teacher since I was 9 years old, he's like 40 odd. And I've always seen him as an uncle-figure. We have always got on really well and have had a good laugh.

However, ever since I was about 12, he'd jokingly say 'If you're bad I'll have to beat you with that stick!' which I've always thought it was a little strange. And from about the age of 13 he'd always say 'Oh, you're a bad girl' or 'you're a naughty girl'.

For the past 2 years i've had the private lessons in my house but before that, we had then at the back of a music shop and when I was about 12/13 years old there was a computer there and he had to use it to find the music for a song, he turned the computer on and a porn page that came up, with some really disturbing images may I just add! He insisted it wasn't his and I said okay. But after he said 'Oh I bet you we're loving that before I clicked off it, and pulled a creepy face' I said 'eww' and he laughed a bit 

So when I was 15, I was paying for one of my lessons and he needed to give me change, instead of giving the change he was joking around and put my change in his pocket and said if I wanted it I had to get it out myself. And he was being serious, he made me reach into his pocket and get the change, and I swear I felt something, if you know what I mean... It makes me cringe!

So all of those things are kind of stupid but then also from the age of 15 he would always say to be how beautiful and pretty I was. And he would always comment on how 'sexy' my hair looks. And lastly, one time I was having a lesson he said
 'You were in my dream last night' 
and i said 'Ooooh what happened?!'
 and he said 'Ah, i can't say' and i said
'Oh.. i didn't die did I? haha'
and he said
'no, nothing like that' and i said
 'so why can't you say?'
And he said
'Because its rude.' and i said
'what.. like a sex dream?' and he said
' haha.. umm'
And i said
'right.. ok' And i felt very awkward and uncomfortable (probably because i'm a virgin). And he said
'It was good though...'
And i said 
'Cool' because i didn't know what else to say .
and he said 'Sorry about that'
And i said 'right okay, anyway..' and changed the subject.

So recently, my mum asked me if he has ever been inappropriate with me because she has heard things about him and things he has allegedly done, but she didn't want to say anything to me because him and I get along so well, and it was only alleged. Should I tell my mum about these little things or do you think I'm being paranoid and over reacting? What do you think? 

Thanks again if you read the whole thing:)!
~ Leah xxx

David · Accepted Answer

You've gotta be kidding me! Common sense! Tell your mom! He has made hints and even did the "if you want it you gotta get it out my pocket yourself" trick! Your music teacher is a pervert/child molestor!

crawfsgirl · Answer

Wow. No paranoia on your part at ALL. Totally inappropriate and creepy, whether he's a teacher or not; he should be hitting on women his own age. I know it may be uncomfortable, but YES, definitely, I would tell someone, preferably a parent or other trusted adult. Honestly there should be consequences to his behavior, but of you're worried about that you could find a new teacher and cut off all contact. Unfortunately, keeping quiet won't necessarily keep it from happening to someone else in the future... Good luck, and I'm proud of you for recognizing his abnormal behavior. I think as females we often feel like we need to be nice all the time & smile sweetly, and we don't stick up for ourselves & demand respect.

Anonymous · Answer

Hiya,
I read all of this. He is a perv. I think you should tell your Mum you're certainly not being paranoid. He's being extremly inappropriate. Maybe you could get a different music tutor? :). That's really disgusting what he does to you. It's disrespectful and it's sad to think that he can do all this without feeling guilty. He could probably be arrested for this, but if you don't want to get the police involved, of course you don't have to :). Trust your instincts that's all I can say!
Best wishes,
From Amelia x

Anonymous · Answer

It's normal. You're just young. I have a 13 year old sister so I hear stuff like this all the time. Your teacher is just affectionate and a close talker. It may be super annoying but its not innapropirate.

Anonymous · Answer

This is highly inappropriate, and you're being uncomfortable has nothing to do with being a virgin. It bothers me that you even said that- do you think that just because a woman has had sex she is fair game for every creepy innuendo?

TELL YOUR MOTHER!

Yellow · Answer

An adult should never talk to a young girl like that. It is very inappropriate. I hope you're safe and will have a good talk with your mother and find a better teacher. Be safe!

Ray · Answer

I didn't even have to finish to know he is a perv. Don't take anymore lessons. Tell your mom, and dad, and any girl you know that are taking his classes. Stay away from him. If he touches you or anything tell the police about it and everything he has done before.

MAYANK · Answer

hi Leah, i think u should tell ur mum as these things don't end so easily if  u kept ur mouth shut he grow more and more confident that he can (well i better not use any inappropiate word) but the thing is he won't shop i can assure you so please you will have to do something about it and i think telling your mum is your best choice

? · Answer

Better tell you mum before he rapes you.

? · Answer

You're both paranoid and overreacting.

Yes, he has the hots for you, and next time he won't put the money into his pocket, but down the front of his pants. His dream about you was obviously of the wet kind.

But why blow such a good thing by telling your mother?

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Was this inappropriate of my teacher or am I being paranoid?

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