Scars and Stars, a free verse poem, suggestions for improvements please?

Cassie, you are a beauty.

You are grace personified. .

Thank you for this tribute

Reminding me of my sister ...in pink

Xo

Hi, there. This is a sweet poem, and I don't have anything negative to say but if I could think of some things to make it stronger I would say that I would like to see the return at the end of the concept of scars being like stars (other than the obvious rhyme to the words) and some tangible meaning to the idea of a 'jet black sky'. The ending refers to living with the "shadow of life's uncertainty" but there is nothing clear connecting the imagery and it loses meaning. Those are some thoughts that might help you if you wanted to improve the poem but it is still a nice tribute :)

There are many, many varieties of poems Frederic. Free verse is simply "one" of them and free verse does no longer must rhyme however it particularly should have a precise go with the flow to it. When I write free verse, it winds up being fairly verbose in the opening. The first draft always is for me so I let it breathe a little bit and that i edit, edit, edit and ruin down the entire verbage that just isn't crucial. This poem has greater than it desires in the best way of 'bones'. Now you need to hone it to say what it's you are trying to get throughout to the reader in as simple a technique as viable. I could recommend this edit: When all of the moments had been lived all of the days described, hope would be the illusion you chase in your dreams; and time will become a circle of black and white while most effective faded graphics will guard your intellect from forgetting. Will there be the grace of a seat furnished? Will there be a comforting hand warm your face into a smile as you accumulate the fallen leaves of your dreams construct a defending fireplace from iciness's bloodless and stare into luminous stars of night left to relive your solemn rendering of lifestyles? I suppose the poem is stunning and a great expression of difficulty for the aged and their problems. Have you a title? I would advocate "Will There Be Grace"

This is very beautiful. Scars, like stars in a jet black sky, do have their own beauty. Wounds sometimes sparkle like diamonds.As long as we are wounded we heal and the scars are tough. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Each wound, each scar,puts us on our feet as a stronger person who can face life and be grateful to God for it The scars are the suffering for the ones lost in death.

Pink for the memory of all who have been taken.Cancer, a horrible monster who invades life and steals it away from women. God bless them all.

Beautiful memory for them

Strength, by the Grace of God. I believe it exists inside us from birth. But we must find our own strengths and recognize them. The scars we have show how we've grown and survived. Your free verse poem is strong. It doesn't skip around. The piece is completely focused and tightly written.

My flip-flop reversal thinking would be...

"I live with the shadow of Life's uncertainty."

I die in the light of Death's inevitability.

This is another great poem that displays your confidence.

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Cassie, i cannot offer a clinical view,my formal knowledge of poetry is not near grown but the heartache you express of a loved one that's gone is a reminder in me, I share with lead in my soul. My little Girl has gone away, and i need to be here to share how much she wanted to stay.

LOVED ONES FOREVER, RT

hi cassie I'm back, those people in religion are doing my head in...' LOL ...Just kidding .

This is a lovely poem Scars and Stars have their own special brand of beauty.

Nice tribute :) have a good weekend :)

As Carey Says, change whom to who. I suggest that if you want to use capital letters in certain places that you double space before them. This is a fine tribute, a poem in free verse.

I will forever refer to my scars as stars. What a beautiful thought. Being a woman I understand...

Just beautiful Cassie...a strong message of healing rings true...you truly are a gift to us...x