Please assist me with mature answers!?

1. He keeps coming back to you because you were once a very positive relationship in his life. A best friend during a time of innocence. Things keep going sideways for you guys but during your times of separation, he's romanticizing the good times. Men do that...a lot. They also know what to say and how to say it when they want to win someone back. His true intentions are unknown (probably even to him) but guilt doesn't feel like the right adjective. If he's saying he wants to talk about why he shut down, it's likely because he knows he should explain and he's ready to do it.

2. Attraction isn't everything. It's the door, it's not the house. His behaviour over the last 4+ years is not that of a quality potential husband and life partner.

3. On that note...it is something that helps if you're planning to sleep with him and it sounds like you might. It wouldn't be wrong to sleep with him but it will complicate things for you. We women are annoyingly emotional when it comes to sex. You'll respect yourself a lot more if you don't but if you do...don't make it out to "mean" anything special and try to make it something that it's not.

4. BE PROTECTED...do not risk getting pregnant. (Too many reasons to list why)

If this were a happy ending movie, you'd get the closure you need from this and you'd move on with your life. Keep memories where they belong and be willing to make new ones but only with your eyes wide open.

Hope that helps.

In all reality, you don't even really know this guy anymore. People change so much during the years you weren't even speaking that I have to assume he returns to you impulsively when he is frightened or has a disappointment elsewhere, like a touchstone, something familiar. This is not the kind of connection one can base a solid marriage or even a serious relationship on.

If you want to go see him, I think that's fine, but I would treat it as if you are meeting for the first time and personally, I would never recommend getting sexually involved unless and until the emotional underpinning is present and stable for some good period of time. It complicates things and takes the focus off the emotional facets of the connection and tends to cause people to judge the relationship on it's sexual qualities. In other words, sex too soon actually derails intimacy, which should not be your goal. For me, it's not that it would be wrong, but it could really complicate a lot of things.

No one can tell you for sure exactly what his motives are. All the more reason to take it slow, keep some emotional energy in reserve and don't dive in to intensely. Concentrate on getting to reknow one another and see if anything is there.

Talking about what happened in the past could be a good idea, but it's really the present that counts and you aren't the same people you were back then. You're starting from scratch, pretty much, so stay open to the possibility it will be very different from all you remember.

I think you should go and hear him out not only for him but for yourself as well, if you are not interested in a relationship with him romantic or friendship after you talk then you both have closure on the issue and can move forward. I wouldn't sleep with him I think that just blurrs the lines and makes the situation even more complicated.

Its probably not his intention to hurt you but it sounds like it may be a subconscious way of keeping you in his life. he sounds like he has some issues that are sad but it may be dangerous if he puts that all on you and does not find any Other outlets. I would say meet with him talk with him and let him go. your young and this is not a good start to your life. the guy without the drama is out there just because you have not met him don't think this guy is the one.

do not sleep with him go on with your life an forget him for now wait until u get out of service then see then where its goes don't lower your standers for this guy he sounds wishy washy to me don't let your self feel sorry for him have some pride don't be desperate or u will live to regret it one day just wait until u get back u both or to young yet go live girl go live to early in life to get your self married an maybe PG wait be wise use your head live only for u now. not to please someone else

if you are off to basic then give it two more years until you settledown. you can see what the service has done for him, take the time to think out your life. sleeping with him will not tell you anything except if you liked sleeping with him or not.