Is this shallow stream too deep? C/C?

,,,,,,,,,Water can be a multilayered metaphor.

The flow of a poem can be determined by the author's.

deciding on the the nature and purpose of the water he chooses.

In your phrase,

"Always set your feet down well

upstream of your intentions",

you communicate your intent concisely and compose

a strong very insightful poem,

.

You create tension with a self assured ease

the reader senses, intensifying the interaction

they feel and their enjoyment of sharing it.

All moving water can be dangerous, some more so than others. This poem took me back to when I was a child and with friends we used to wade in the streams near our home. We weren't supposed to be there, so I guess our parents were aware of the dangers. Streams which trickled along nicely could turn into a torrent after the rain. Last week the Thames near where I live was like a mill pond. A young man died trying to swim across. Underneath the surface lurked strong currents which dragged him down. I also thought of bath water and how toddlers have drowned in a couple of inches of water in ther own bathroom. That's where you took me with your poem. On several journeys, and that is what a good poem does.

Are you saying? We have heard the old saying, "Look Before You Leap, Still Water Runs Deep"

But on the other hand, "No Matter How Shallow the Conversation, Check It Out Before You Wade In"

Unique, entrancing poem here. A 'thinker', but always the truth of any given situation.

"Always plant your feet well upstream of your intentions."

I'd try to omit the word "down". I'd also include the word "well" in both opener and closer.

Great idea for a poem and you did not fail to deliver.

I have missed your poetry so much. Thought provoking as usual. Your pen is always top self.

This was a very creative write. i like how you use something in nature and use it as an analogy to ones way of life. great job.

I prefer metrical verse or when it comes down to prose, I would like it to contain a didactic partition of deep philosophy. "Don't drown in a spoonful of water". (Old Greek saying).

Thanks for the suggestion.

Please forgive me for mentioning it, but the syntax of the text is weak.

I only wish to offer a friendly suggestion, and a careful, experienced critic of poetry, would tell you that often, some sections in your texts appear confusing. Also: A set of directions of how to walk on slippery swallow streams, is not necessarily what a poem should be constructed of. And unless you use some very strong poetic devices (that do not exist here), the attempt is doomed.

An example of the hasty syntax is this:

(against its own volition but no difference)

another:

((... sunders a streamwalker

who watched so well

but couldn’t see the waters’ future

nor predict one’s own step

would so malign the one before. ))

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A poem is the usage of the best words in the best possible order.

I just wanted to comment in a friendly manner to you; your syntax needs some "combing".

That's all.

Great poem, I really liked the way you worded your last two lines.

Well-written and thought provoking. Thank you, enjoyed this.