34 months and he can't seem to figure out how to stop and go potty?

Question

We're at a loss.  We have two sons.  The oldest son decided that he no longer wanted to go poop in his diaper about six months ago.  Then exactly one week before his brother was born three months ago he transitioned entirely into underwear.  HOWEVER, there's one nagging problem.  For THREE MONTHS now he continues to have accidents during the day.  He's had only one accident at night so we strongly suspect it's not a physical condition and there's something else going on.  The thing is, he really doesn't like going potty in his underwear.   He'll let out a little squeal of dismay when he has the accident, grab his crotch and then want to go to the bathroom right away.

For example today we asked him if he had to go potty and he said no.  Then literally two minutes later he's squealing and grabbing his crotch and his pants are wet.  He obviously doesn't like that he has an accident.  Usually his accidents aren't that close to the time when we ask so we don't think it's related, but when his accident occurs within minutes of us asking, it has us wondering what's going on.  Obviously he had to go to the bathroom but for some reason he either doesn't know that he has to go, or he has no control over when he goes or there's some odd emotional thing going on.  

We've heard of regressing after a sibling is born, but this is going on for three months now.  What can we do to get him to stop and go to the bathroom BEFORE he goes in his underwear?  We've tried rewards, we've tried putting him in pull ups (which he hates), we've tried everything we can think of but nothing works.  The only way we can get through a day is to make him go to the bathroom and go potty on a regular schedule even if he says he doesn't have to go.  We do that for a week and then try a day on his own and as soon as we leave it up to him he ends up with soaked pants.  It's very frustrating.

Beyond that, he's a very happy normal little boy.

? · Accepted Answer

34 month old?  Are you serious?  What's wrong with "My 3 year old.".

Yeah I kinda know all that seeing as how I"m a nurse, but it's still aggravating and annoying.

Anonymous · Answer

By 3 years old I'm going to assume that he talks pretty well. He should know that he has to go, but its a good thing if you give him a constant reminder, MAKE HIM GO to the bathroom every half hour and ask him in between potty times if he has to go. Yes he will get annoyed and most likely let you know that he is, but its a great way of going about it. It sounds like you're doing everything you can, and as you said he hates pull ups, I would let him know that if the potty in the underpants keeps happening, that is what he is going to have to wear. I have two boys ages 3 1/2 and 1 1/2 and both of them are fully potty trained. Whenever there was an accident I let them know that it was just an accident and that it was okay, but if it happened again that the diaper was going to go back on....they HATED it. Make potty training fun and have dad show him how he goes potty, both my boys are wanting to do things that dad does and to be a big boy, so we didn't make them go on a little potty chair, we have a seat that goes on the toilet for poops and a stool to stand on for pees(just have disinfectant wipes handy for bad aim! lol) Maybe do a potty dance after he goes potty, give high fives, let him know that after a certain amount of time with no accidents he gets to do something special(park, go out for icecream, get a new book) and mark off the days on the calendar.........Sorry its so long, i'm just trying to throw out ideas that I did with my little guys. GOOD LUCK

Anonymous · Answer

My little boy did the same recently.  He as been trained for a while too.  Did some research & the only thing I found that made sense is that he might have been constipated.  Apparently the sensation of needing to poo confuses the child when they need a wee.  Plus the full bowel places more pressure on their bladders.

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34 months and he can't seem to figure out how to stop and go potty?

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