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What's my moms problem?

I'm a 17 year old girl about to go off to college. I'm the youngest of two. I have an older sister who is 21. We grew up in a single parent family so all my life it's been me my mom and my sister. When I go off to college I will be moving out into a student apartment literally no more than 20 mins away. My sister has been moved out for a couple years now and she has her own boyfriend and child. But something my sister and I have both noticed is how much my mom really tries to control our lives and have things her way. My mom literally wouldn't even let me get the comforter/curtains I wanted for my new bedroom because she didn't like it. But that's really on a smaller scale. It seems like she just wants to control everything and in a way it seems like she lives through us. My mom is single, isn't really into dating(due to a lot of insecurities) and also has friends but doesn't like hanging out with them. So basically when I move out it'll just be my mom and dog in the house and I know she will be lonely so I feel bad. On the other hand i feel I need to break away from her hovering and sheltering and live my own life and gain my own experiences but for some reason I feel guilty. I know my mom cares so I don't wanna just leave her hanging but I can't keep having her tell me what to do and how to live. She also tries to control my sister and she's a grown woman. She will try to enable a split between my sister and her boyfriend because she thinks he's a bum but in deeper context it seems like she just wants me sister and niece to move back home to be with her. I know I wrote a lot but I need some advice, some encouragement, anything! I'm just at a really tough position in life and as if I wasn't nervous enough about going to college now I'm extra stressed. Please help

1 Answer

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  • Laura
    Lv 7
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I think that your mom needs to hit rock bottom before anything changes with her behavior. You need to learn to let go and let your mom be your mom and you be your own person. Go and have fun at college, and work on moving out when you graduate. Your mother needs to learn to live without controlling you.

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