Such a "Sweet Weapon" Should it be worthy of C/C?

O bulletproof Cupid, how you rhyme away!

but in my breast thy arrow's fletch never shall stick,

for my skin's alligator, my bones... terminator-

breath like a gorgon's, and lips a cracked brick.

So fly away, fly away, swiftly, sweet sprite

or the monster that made thee might mug thee aright.

I liked your poem, I sense it's to be read aloud. You've got regular rhymes, and half rhymes, but it's quite cryptic, sort of riddling verse. Maybe the half rhymes are more successful? A little more original. It's kind of intimate- and do you really expect to find me in a dress? A bit winsome perhaps? But pleasant. The killer lines are the last two in my opinion. I don't know if I would dare to argue that any couplet there could be disposed of, only, I would like a bit more violence/threat with my weapon. Although, the thought of someone who can find you wherever you go is a touch NSA when you think about it.

And I. I am a centaur aiming for the stars

My hooves are speedy on this earth

my far-seeing eyes seek wisdom with mirth;

By day I roam, I speed by night -

Arrows celestial smile alongside Cupid`s might

Yet though we tryst in Hope`s blue mist

Neither, to `Que Serra`s.submits.

8.5...this poem of yours kind of darted out at me..I fergot to duck!

So I`m swanning off to put on my `centaur ` role...good pomey..lightheared for

a pre-meditated and hearty, woman`slaughter :D. lol.

Mr. Ripple

This is a pretty, eloquent poem, with a nice storyline,

so the concept worked, though I am still unclear who

the sweet weapon is (your Mom)

Heck, "Rest is a Weapon"

Smart idea to keep all one stanza here, conducive

to poems flow and to capture the essence of your

story The 'I have' or 'I will' or 'I can' redundancy usually

does not work but I think you made it work here quite

well.

I do look forward to a balanced syllabic piece...you are

getting there.

Now that i understand it's love you're "talking" about i really like the poem, everything make sense now!

good work in my eyes.

well.

not sure you will find me

as I hide in plain sight, and the weapons used on me

never hit their mark.

your poem is pretty good until you get to the title and the last line,

It was decent:)

The "i can find you in a dress or a little less" was funny haha made me lol

You are love....