How damaged am I LGBT?

I used to be homophobic since like age 8, calling guys fags, at 13 I realized I was bisexual. My whole family thinks I'm gay and my sister is lesbian. Despite my family thinking I'm gay, even though I'm bi but more leaning towards guys I want to bring a girl home to prove them all wrong. I hate being told by people on yahoo answers that I'm gay when I ask if I am, because to be perfectly honesty, I ask that to be reassured that I'm straight. All my friends are homophobic, I go to a Christian school, all my teachers are nice but most are anti-gay, some are on the fence and others are gay-friendly, which is normal. I know I like boys, but it just feels like it's not me, but I do like girls. I'm so confused. I want everyone to think I'm straight, maybe so then even I'll come to believe it. I used to be suicidal, and strongly self-hating of myself, calling myself a ******, crying myself to sleep, praying for forgiveness. I just hate being at a party with all the guys feeling up girls, and me wanting to bang the guys more than the girls, and when they use the word gay it really hurts but I don't show it. It just makes me realizes how much hate the truly is, I just want to be straight, not bisexual. Most people assume it's gay it straight, which is why no one thinks I'm gay. The girls at my school tried to make me their "gay friend" and they hinted they think I'm gay, so I left them, socialized with some guys and it's better now. Truth is I hate my bisexuality, I only want girls.