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Mr. Ripple
Mr. Ripple asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 8 years ago

Honest Doormen, short poem in ten syllable lines, C/C?

Honest Doormen

They don't maliciously want to harm you,

They're honest doormen with a job to do.

All they need is a sight, a sound, or thought,

Any sadness that our doubts may have caught.

From upon that rode of lonely journeys,

An abundance of available keys.

Can open that door where we pay our dues,

Then, like it or not, we must sing the blues.

Update:

A Friend suggested that I try writing a ten beat line, poem, to improve my rhythm. This is just a short shot at it.

"Honest Doormen" are the feelings that come around and unlock the door to the Blues Room.

I am sure everyone been in there, the furniture is almost worn out, I've seen some famous names carved on the wall.

Update 2:

A Friend suggested that I try writing a ten beat line, poem, to improve my rhythm. This is just a short shot at it.

"Honest Doormen" are the feelings that come around and unlock the door to the Blues Room.

I am sure everyone been in there, the furniture is almost worn out, I've seen some famous names carved on the wall.

Update 3:

Lapiz, your answer did not go away, it is on the other side my moon. The explanation is there, I some how have duplicated the question.

Believe it or not I have done control wiring under the control consoles of nuclear plants.

I know, so has Homer Simpson.

4 Answers

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Plz...leave posted.. I answered earlier but it has mis-appeared...hurried now..

    want to respond..subtle metaphor a gift. L.

    Edit: Oh, don`t worry..

    the otherday, lacking full vision , all disoriented, ( and whatever) I managed to unwillingly

    amuse my local market restaurant staff, by struggling to push the door inward so as to enter...

    in fact it opens outward and as a 20+ years patron there.....hmmm..mm..:o

    (I ought to have married Gary Larson..he had a cartoon @ JUST that)..

    If you know the guy tell him I need an understanding brother....k? lol.:)

  • Crow Magnum
    Lv 4
    8 years ago

    Well, your explanation made all the difference - I can now appreciate your poem. Frankly, I was having some difficulty before. And, like I've said recently, I seem to be very literal-minded lately, and have trouble with abstractions.

    Check out this question:

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AgV_J...

    Within the question/challenge, there's a sonnet of directions to write a sonnet. Your lines do, indeed, have 10 syllables each, but the meter varies. In a sonnet, each line has 10 syllables in iambic pentameter, and this direction/sonnet presents this in an amusing way.

    Stay the course!

  • Oakwolf
    Lv 6
    8 years ago

    I like your explanation as well as your poem. I read it and thought, "Huh, I've never actually seen a doorman in real life. I guess ol' Rip is from NYC and he knows something I don't." Which may be true. But I agree, I've seen the doorman at the Blue's Room....

  • ?
    Lv 5
    8 years ago

    I'm trying to figure out what it is about. it is good bc it does remind me of sellers and how hard their job is but it does also remind me of something more religious, like JW and how they try and teach their ways, which is a hard road for them as well. anyways i like the poem good write.

    --Awesome, thanks for the explanation. i get it now.

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