Can someone offer me some advice?

Question

I am 17 and I was wanting eagerly to join the United States marine corps. I had a girlfriend of two years she promised everything would be great at first and then just yesterday she confessed to me she felt 4 years was too much. I do understand that but in this situation she had promised me she would wait. She would show me pictures of couples she wanted us to resemble when I got back. She always told me she was loyal and in the last minute where I needed it to count she said to me she wanted to end the relationship. I did I wished her the best as I do love her she was my princess and I'd give her anything for her to be happy. Although to my surprise she would be happier if we broke up. I feel I miss her but I don't want to get back together if that's the kind of loyalty she really has. I just need at the very least some advice.

iSee · Accepted Answer

witness

I'm more than thrice your age, yet I can remember being so painfully in love at that time that it is as though it happened yesterday.

At 17, it's all about hormones. However, you won't even understand how true that is for at least a dozen years. And the pain of the thought of losing "The One" is almost unbearable.

But, it happens.

For all kinds of reasons, it happens. And the love of your life is gone, and you move on - ever so slowly and painfully.

You're in the process of making a choice that will allow you to become the man that you are meant to be. You cannot stop that which needs to happen, and yet, not stopping it may well mean that you lose this girl. If you chose her, and give up your dream, you will always wonder what you might have learned, what you might have become, had you chosen otherwise. And that wondering will, over the years, turn into regret and bitterness. And you'll end up hating her for stopping you for going after your dream.

So, you have no choice, really.

Your dreams come first.

If she's there for you afterwards, great. If not, then you cry... and move on.

iSee

Emily · Answer

Ok I know from experience because I went out with a guy who left for 4 months for basic training and we stayed together but it was really difficult because we couldnt communicate at all. I think you need to understand 4 years is a long time and its going to be hard for you but do you really want to put her through that. Long distance relationships are hard and if she waits for you shes going to be alone for 4 years. It was your decision to join the army she has no choice. So you have no right to judge her decisions because its about her as well.

Dont Panic · Answer

Look man, if you are willing to leave her for 4 years, I'd say you don't really love her. Besides, 4 years is a LONG time, you can't expect her to be waiting for you all of that time. She is doing the right thing by leaving you, and you must understand this.

Annie · Answer

Tough one..Maybe she felt what's the guarantee of you still wanting to be with her after you came back... 

It's almost like Dear John, your story.She might have said she can't wait for you, but I'm sure deep down she knows she will. If you love someone with your whole heart, you'll wait or fate will bring you guys back together again. Happened to me, although it didn't last...  

Hang in there...

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Can someone offer me some advice?

4 Answers