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Am I being selfish with Christmas?
so, normally, I am an extremely giving person. I enjoy buying gift for others. In the last two years I've spend well over $500 on gifts for everyone. I rarely forget a birthday or Christmas, and they always seem to forget me. Last Christmas, I spent like over $300 on gifts and another $100 or so on shipping. I put in so much effort. But no one ever sends me a gift back. Even on my birthday they don't even call me to wish me a happy birthday. I know the holiday is about giving and I kind of feel like I've given more than my fair share. Some of these people are close friends (people I've been friends with for 5 plus years). Some of them are family members, some are in bad financial situations and I can understand why they can't do much. But others are doing great financially and could afford to at least send a card or homemade cookies (most of them know how to bake and are decent cooks). Some of them never even call me anymore, I'm the one calling them all the time. It's beginning to feel like a one sided relationship, or like I'm just being used. Is it selfish to just start cutting people off who aren't making an effort to be my friend? And it isn't just about gifts, it's the fact that they never write, or call, or show any effort at all.
Also, not just in money but I tend to send smaller homemade items a long with the store bought items and some of these things take hours to make. And when I give them to my friends or family most of them just shrug it off like they don't even like it. One family member told me the item I made was beautiful and likes it, but all the others seem to just throw them away.
Not all my family or friends are this way, but a good amount of them are.
I'm also on a somewhat limited budget too. The money I spend on gifts could be going to other things such as paying off debts faster. I have some medical bills.
8 Answers
- 7 years agoFavorite Answer
You're not selfish! You give gifts and spend time on these people who don't care to put effort into you. I'd be upset too! I guess just stop buying them presents or get them smaller, cheaper things. I totally relate to you, the same happens to me. It's great to give, but it's also nice to once and a while receive.
- a personLv 47 years ago
IT IS NEVER EVER SELFISH TO CUT PEOPLE OUT OF YOUR LIFE, WHO DON'T PUT THE EFFORT IN. The fact that you have already given so much means you shouldn't feel guilty. Perhaps a nice card is enough for the people you've grown distant from. But by doing less gifts for the people who can't even give you a phone call, you can put more money towards the people who do make an effort. Constantly trying for people who don't frankly seem to care always leaves you feeling upset over it. Now that I'e gone off to college the hard fact is that a lot of my friends from high school simply do not care about me anymore. It sucks, but once I've accepted it I've made room for new people who really do show their appreciation in my life.
Help me out??
- 7 years ago
Hey, do u know what makes a person a REAL giver? That person focuses only on giving, not on hoping or waiting for people to give back........that's real giving. Well, life is hard and u WANT to have things back as a thank or something. You not having something as a return call makes you the man who has the MOST, than for the ppl that had the gifts. u give because u want to make the other happy. goood day
- Anonymous7 years ago
Paring back your giving because you can't afford it isn't selfish, but you have said that the only reason you are paring back because you are angry and keeping score. Even as a non-christian I know that's not a good reason to do anything. It may not be selfish, but you have to admit it's not a good motivation.
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- 7 years ago
No, you are not selfish about that. But then, you should never expect something in return no matter how much you give.
- 7 years ago
well not slefish to give gifts for the holiday giving back for the christmas holiday
