How do I deal with family photographers, and get the pictures I want?

You asked her to change the style and she refused.

Sounds like all hell already broke out when you asked so may as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb!

Go to a different photographer. She only has herself to blame - you asked nicely and she refused.

Since you already know it's going to cause issues, my advice is to thank her kindly but be honest and say they are not the best representation of your family. Then take whatever camera you have, gather your family together and go enjoy an activity you all love doing. When you or your wife feel the timing is right and every single is connected in some way. Stop and take the photo buy a tripod if you need to (don't worry you can return it later..it's totally the season for that) or ask a stranger to take them.

Sure they won't be "professional" but you will love them more than looking like a lifelike version of the creepy dolls you might find in an antique store.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

That his her style, and I doubt she would change it even if you offered to pay for it. I know I wouldn't if I were her.

Here is the problem, you want a photographer to create images in the type of style you want. Instead, you should find a photographer who already creates images in the style you want. It is a little like going to a Honda dealer and demand they sell you a car that looks like a Ford.

I think you should just hire another photographer whose work you like better.

Edit:

I disagree with people who say a professional would change their style to meet the clients needs. I would never do that I don't know any photographers that would.

My philosophy is simple. I show clients the work that I do. If they like it they hire me. If they want something different, I try to refer them to a photographer that can provide it.

My style is what it is. A client doesn't get to dictate my style just because they are holding a checkbook.

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You can try finding another photographer who is more professional and one that actually knows what they are doing. If your sister didn't charge you for the pictures that you had taken of your family, then she can do whatever she wants with these pictures since you didn't pay for them. If you did pay for them, she has to accept that you'd prefer a different style. It sounds like she's childish with the temper she threw at your request and that she's not that professional as she claims to be if she admits to editing them wrong. Style are styles, but they aren't always the right style.

She clearly has little idea about how to take & light images correctly - like many Facebook 'fauxtographers'.

However, altering her pictures is NOT allowed - she owns the copyright & that would be a copyright violation for which she could sue.

If she has said she will no longer take your pictures, it sounds like the problem's solved!! Just hire a decent, proper professional (preferably with an actual studio) - check out their portfolio first if you're not sure.

Go to another photographer, your sister in law can't expect to hold a monopoly over all your family photography and if she were truly pro she'd be able and comfortable with adapting her work to fit your requirements.

She was right to withhold the original image files, it was a bit outrageous to request them.

If you want some fun you could try asking at the local college if there are any students that'd be up for the job - they might well come up with something original that'll surprise and please you.