daughter invites friend's over without asking me first?

Let me walk you through this:

YOU are the MOTHER

SHE is the DAUGHTER

YOU are the PARENT

SHE is the CHILD.

You tell her if she does this again, since you've had the talk? You will take her cell phone away or computer privileges. There should be restrictions Monday through Friday with "friends" coming over after school and being there when you get home. As in perhaps? TWO days a week BUT NOT FIVE.

IF your daughter can't "play by the rules" you need to start denying her privileges LIKE use of her cell phone, etc. This is what PARENTS do. You don't get upset. You don't buy into crying, complaining, screaming. YOU JUST DO IT. The fewer words - the better. Just give her the steely eyed LOOK and try not to react to HER childishness.

Remember: YOU'RE the adult - SHE's the child. Okay?

Grace

Oh no! You are going to have to put on the mean mom hat, it's not fun, but it works. You tell your daughter one more time that she has to ask first AND tell her if you come home and her friend is there you will be taking the friend home immediately. Then, if it happens, do it. If you come home and the friend is there don't argue with your daughter over it, in fact, don't say a word to HER. Say to the friend, " I am sorry, (name), but I have told (daughter) repeatedly that no one can come over unless I am asked. You are not in trouble and I can give you a ride home if you need one, but you will have to go now. (Daughter's name) knows better, next time ask if she checked with me." Keep it upbeat and smile, it's NOT the other girl's fault.

When you get back from taking friend home, be prepared for your daughter to be having ten thousand kittens and a cow. She is going to be mad! Stay calm, keep the mom hat on! Remind her this was discussed and if she does this again, this WILL be exactly what happens again and if she doesn't like that, she can spend 14 days (her age) without having anyone over, period.

Hang onto your hat, it's a bumpy ride! You can do it though...right now you are trying too hard to be her friend, put on the mom hat.

You've raised your daughter by pleading with her to respect your rights as the parent. I suspect you lost this battle by the time she was 9. It's time for a different approach. BE the parent. MAKE the rules. ENFORCE them. Asking her to, please, remember what your rules are but doing nothing but be bewildered when she pays no attention is a sure way to raise an out of control teenager.

Seems you'd better start being the parent enforcer NOW. When rules are broken, there are consequences. If YOU don't teach her that.. then the big scary old world and the legal system will have to. Wouldn't you rather she learned that lesson from you?

your house your rules, she has been doing this and getting away with it, tell her it will not happen again and that if it does you are going to have to tell her friend that 'tonight is not a good night,' and take her home, then follow through on it. You could also talk to the girls mother , she might not know that you didn't approve it. Daughter is 14, everything is dramatic, get her under control now or you will be sorry in another year or 2

Simple- every time you come home from work and find a guest that has not been given prior permission to come over-you immediately tell the kid to go home-NOW. Then take away a minor privilege from your daughter for that evening like no phone calls....no internet unless it's school work....you get the drill. Daughter is 'dissing' you because there are no consequences for her ignoring the house rules set by YOU.....

When you come home, go to the friend and ask her to leave as you are tired and your daughter has been told to ask first before bringing someone home. Then show the friend the door.

If your daughter complains, whines, etc. repeat the rules about asking ahead of time and that this will be the consequences from now on.

Tell her the next time you come home and someone is there but she did not prior ask your permission, tell her you will have the friend leave. Then if it happens, follow through. She has no consequences and it playing you.

Instruct her follow your order untill she stay with your house and your support.

If she do not follow, give her some punishment like as cut her daily use money or time to play computer game etc.

Then she will follow your ask.

Put your foot down and tell her who the parent is and your rules are to be followed! No exceptions.

I think that you should firmly talk to her and let her know for the last time. If she doesn't listen then don't allow company over for a while.