Having access to my own child, need some advice please?

Can you speak to her and find out why? Offer your support, so it's not about you wanting to see the baby, but supporting her and your child financially, or if she needs you put a shelf up, change a lightbulb, look after the baby for an appointment etc. Make it clear you're there for them both.

If you see a solicitor, assuming you get nowhere with your ex girlfriend, they should try and mediate between the pair of you. They should try and get to the bottom of her concerns: does she have a reason to stop you seeing the child, or is it just anger? Perhaps a phased approach where she drops the child off with a family member or friend, and you pick the baby up? Perhaps a supervised visit? It's good you are trying to sort this out before the baby is born.

If it goes down the legal route, first of all you will need to apply for parental responsibility. Both married parents of a child automatically have this right. However as you're unmarried you will need to apply for it, which if she's not contesting you're the father, shouldn't be too difficult. If she denies you're the father, then a DNA test would be needed, which would delay matters, as she may refuse the test, in which case the court may draw conclusions that you are the father. Parental responsibility brings rights such as a say over medical treatment, taking a child abroad, and is also the first step towards access or even residence (previously known as custody).

Once PR is obtained, you can then apply for access. If she doesn't have any reasons such as violence or substance abuse that would stop this, then the court would usually award you access, with a preference of 50/50 access between mum and dad. They may award weekend visits, holidays or any other access. Also the access may be phased at first, especially if the baby is young.

The main obstacles will be cost and time, especially if she tries to make allegations about the paternity of the baby, or about your suitability as a parent. This means more hearings, DNA testing, maybe even social workers reports and observations. Stick with it though, it will be worth it.

She is delusional. Go visit the UK equivalent of your local family court and ask for instructions on how to proceed with establishing your parental rights. They will likely have to wait until the baby is born because if Mom denies you are the father, they will have to order a DNA test. However, with due cause - they an file an order to keep you informed of the pregnancy progress and give you access to her doctors. Once your paternity is established, your EQUAl parental rights will be legally established. That can NEVER be taken away unless you are an abusive crackhead criminal. Mom will be legally obligated to co-parent with you for 18 years. If she tries to file false allegations of criminal or abusive behavior, the court will need more than her word. That is VERY serious and requires police records, social service investigations, etc. Wasting the court's time in order to win a battle and gain control of the child may cost HER custody! The UK does not give unilateral authority over the child to just one parent unless the other parent is deemed unfit or a criminal.

So relax. Start documenting any communications where she threatens to withhold the child from you - dates, times, email copies, texts, voice mails.

When you go before the UK equivalent of a judge, make sure you express concern over the high conflict co-parenting situation. Often the judge will order the co-parents into co-parenting classes or counseling so personal agendas and battles are eliminated and a healthy co-parenting plan can be created devoid of anything personal, broken hearts, hurt feelings, etc. It is now about the CHILD'S best interests, not Mom and Dad's. The court will remind Mom that at some point she willingly CHOSE you to have sex with, a child was created and she is now obligated to accept her legal obligations that are a result of her OWN choices.

Secondly, if the court will consider...ask if they can restrict either of you from moving more than 100 kilometers away without the other's consent so she can't take off with the kid someday. In the US, this is standard.

Lastly, expect that during the baby's first year your visitation will be limited to 3-4 hours a few times a week especially if Mom nurses. But after the first year, it can be increased. It is not a permanent visitation schedule and you will have the right to go back and have it adjusted.

Right, I'm not a Family Law Solicitor so I can't give you the best advice there.

But here's the real gist of it (pushing all morals aside and going into lawyer mode). Men have no parental rights whilst the woman is pregnant and if she doesn't want you to be there for scans then that's her choice. Sorry.

To be part of the child's life, that's where it gets tricky: I'm guessing that she isn't going to put you on the birth certificate (which is still her choice). The only way (by law) by which you could see the child is to get a DNA test and prove it's yours and then you could get access through the courts and see the child in meeting centres. HOWEVER, if the mother doesn't want to do a DNA test on the baby then again you can't make her. The mother always gets the choice. HOWEVER, if she asks for child support off of you then you could ask for a DNA test (this would most likely have to go through the courts). You could go through the courts to get access to your child once it's born and to get parental rights, but be prepared for a long journey. But surely that's worth it to see your child, you clearly want to see the child.

Now your flat...

If your name is on the lease (even if hers is on it too) then you can go to the police and they will do something. She can't change the locks without your consent if it's your flat, even if she is co-owner.

I hope you can get to see your child and tha everything works out for you.

The best advice I can give you is to go see a Family and Child Law Solicitor, they won't be able to do anything during the pregnancy but they could get the ball rolling so that you could get things sorted as soon as possible once the baby is born.

Best of luck!