whats the best joke you've heard?

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2 short joke one long joke.

Joke Joke Jookkkkkeee

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The busdriver said: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers." "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind." "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/peoplejokes/uglybabyjokes....

Why did the pervert cross the road? He couldn't get his **** out of the chicken.(Was on the extras to Bottom)

2 muffins in an oven the first muffin says ******* hell! its hot in here! the second muffin says "**** me! a talking muffin!" (The second one has since been on Family Guy in some form)

The 'World's Best Joke' is a variation of a sketch written by Spike Milligan in 1951:

Bentine: I just came in and found him lying on the carpet there

Sellers: Oh, is he dead?

Bentine: I think so

Sellers: Hadn't you better make sure?

Bentine: Alright. Just a minute

Sound of two gun shots

Bentine: He's dead.

Birthdays are good for your health.

Studies have shown people with most birthdays live longer :-)

I went to the zoo the other day. It only had one dog. It was a shitzu.

Also, a classic: what's brown and sticky?

A stick :D

animal jokes are best

My life.

That.. Is.. A terribly hard question;(

These people, don't get out much,do they?

racist jokes are the best

what does a black kid get on his birthday?

he gets YOUR bike