help with elderly mother?

First, wouldn't it have been easier just to call her your MIL (mother-in-law)? She means a little bit more to you than just "a patient."

Second, never been in that situation, but I'd call her health insurance provider and ask them what else her insurance provides in that situation. If that doesn't give me the answers I need, I then call the local aging organization. (Ours is called "Counsel on Aging," but every place has it's own version of what it's called), and see what they can do to help. Also, since she already has some provisions for hospice, why not ask those folks for more help? It may well be time to put her in hospice.

Unfortunately, if you're both coming down with strep, you won't have the energy required to do that right now. In which case, call the hospice, tell them what's going on now and tell them you need even more help.

That one I have a little experience with. Since you're both sick, have her deal with her mom's care, while you deal with going to YOUR doctor and try to talk doctor into giving enough antibiotics for two people. They're not supposed to do that, but ours did when we both came down with bronchitis during a blizzard. (Hubby had the energy to clean off the car, giving me the energy to go see doctor and get meds. I don't have experience nursing an older person who is that sick, but I do have experience negotiating what to do with both adults in the house get sick at once.)

We hired a caregiver 24/7 for mom last summer. It was expensive but worth it. We couldn't lift mom and she couldn't walk to the bathroom. Wonderful women would come 3 days at a time and handle her personal care for about $300 a day to the agency. Mom had hospice too and only lived 20 days so we only need help about 2 weeks, well worth it so we could keep her home and enjoy the visiting not having to work at her care.

The house was a mad house with my brothers, wives, kids and grand kids as well as mom's sister and other family and friends. Mom loved all the attention.

Another thing you are entitled to with Hospice is respite care. You can send her to a nursing home for 6 days so you can rest. If you get sick you might have to.

Good luck, I hope she has peace and love.

you've much about exhausted everything, except to get hospice to move her into a nursing home. they have the right to do so because when the patient was put on Hospice they actually remove you and your partner from being in charge and they take over. So, you must contact the person at Hospice that you have dealings with, explain the situation and tell them (not ask them) that they have to find a place for your roommates mother. they will probably give you anguish, but you just have to be firm. it's also good to have her doctor on your side.

If she is on hospice care it means that a doctor has stated that it is not expected that she will live for more than 6 months. Of course there are many people who live way beyond what the doctor expects.

Hospice has many facilities (nursing homes) for people. It sounds as if this woman may be better off in such a facility. It will give family members relief, and you can relax while visiting her daily.

"this 67 year old woman which happens to be her mom." What a way to describe this poor lady. Couldn't you have said that you and your partner take care of her 67 year old mom? I detect that you don't like her very much but maybe I'm seeing something which isn't actually there to see.

There are many issues here and I think you should just make an urgent appointment with a social worker and lay your cards on the table and say "Where do we go from here? Please get us some help."

You need a facility for hospice care or a nursing home. This is too much for you! Get Help!

I assume this poor soul is terminal if you have ''hospice''. She may have to go into a facility when she becomes to hard for you to handle on your own. Get a hold of her doctor, he/she can best advise you. A social worker or ombudsman for the elderly also could help in having her placed. Good luck.

hospice usually comes in at end of life. the burden is too much. I am a relief care giver. gotta go, mom slept on the floor.

Nursing home care. From what you list she would most likely qualify. I know, people say no, no, no. It gets to a point you are doing harm to them and yourself.