feminism, from the mouth of a traditional male dating a "feminist" female?

So I have seen a lot of posts recently concerning feminism. Honestly I dont really like talking about this stuff because I have strong feelings yet amd used to suppressing them so others can benefit. I also tend to be one who calls out on hypocrisy yet manages to commit it himself so if I contradict myself or say stupid things then I apologize.

However, I am writing this to depict a different outlook on the recent (or now not so recent) feminism craze

skip to ------- to ignore rambling ahead haha

but first about myself: I am an 18 yo just about to go into the Air force. I come from a family that has not been divorced and I have been raised very traditionally. I was raised watching the example of my dad working (also in the air force) and my mom staying home to watch me and my siblings. my mom is just as intelligent (if not more) than my father. they both went to the same college and got degrees my mom even got hers a year early! she has had many jobs recently (many because she quit not because she was bad but for others reasons, I dont think she has ever been fired under bad terms). she chose to stay home because it let her take care of her kids directly and then to practice some of her dreams/hobbies. she now has an entire room dedicated to scrap booking and crafts.

When I was a kid I noticed that all the boys were mean to the girls. it wasnt just sarcastic teasing it was straight meaness. I always tried to be nice and polite but that led me literally nowhere. I was wierd and unpopular. yet those boys who said demeaning and hateful thing to the girls were cool. why?

I tried to not release my thoughts on this and grew up to be nice. I was incredibly nice to a girl that I thought I loved. always trying to do what I thought was the right thing for her but it backfired on me after I got grounded for sneaking out to her house while I was already in trouble. she later cheated on me twice (some) women eh?

now I have a wonderful gf that I have been together with for more than two years. people say we are a mature couple (I dont expect you internet people to believe me though haha) but after my relationship with the 1st girl I became spiteful and even now when I try to just tease in a loving way it turns out mean.

my girlfriend was originally a huge so-called feminist. she got (legitimately) mad if I tried to hold doors open for her and said ladies first or any normal gentleman things I grew up on. One day she asked me if I was hungry (this was like the second day I had been at her house, I did not feel comfortable and I did not know where anything was located) I told her yes. she said

"well go make somehting then"

and proceeded to make herself something else... what? lol I asked her if I could have some of hers. She said no. that is until I used logic and told her there are two of us, one of her, and enough macaroni for four people (she is a slim 5'4" at 118 ibs. A look of realization came upon her face and she said sure.

I have had lots of things happen between me and her where she said something, "feminist" and I was like "what"?

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feminism has come a long way I see it like a scale where the middle is the golden spot for women and/or feminists. In the past women were looked down upon in society and had specific laws that applied only to them. On top of that things were expected of them that encrouched upon their own feelings and freedoms! this is where I agree the scales needed to tilt to the right

however, too far to the right is where I believe feminism is now

it is blown out of proportion and focuses on things that do not need focus, yet slights over the things that were once truly important. on top of that I see a lot of hypocrisy. I cannot ask my girlfriend to make me her amazing pancakes (i suck at coooking) when she is over and bored usually as well, but she can tell me I must put the toilet seat down? How can she tell me I am unfair to ask her to cook (seriously her pancakes are Delicious) but she can tell me I still need to be a gentleman?

the scale has leaned to the right and feminism is now over the top and unfocused. however the women who practice it act like they can preach how they are better but still expect men to treat them as a lady (I use lady in the sense of olden days ladies and gentlemen) In fact doesn't wishing to be treated like a lady go against their spouted values?

I have decided that if a woman is a polite and left side of the scale feminist I shall honor that yet still be a polite person to them.

however If they insist on being the hypocritical right side of the scales feminist... then I shall tell them that they can put the toilet seat down like a big girl themselves.

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after that bit of nonsense what do you all think? haha :D