Social Media, am I overreacting?

Question

I know you shouldn't put too much emphasis on social media but there are little things about his that bother me. We've been together for 10 years, we live together, no children, and plan on getting married someday. Of course we love each other but he doesn't seem to reference me in his online life at all. We both have facebook and instagram accounts and post the normal, what we do, who we're with, pictures of friends and families. But on his page there are no pictures of me, no references about me, no "hanging out with my girl" post, no comments at all. If someone were to look at his accounts they wouldn't know he has a girlfriend. On his Instagram he has pictures of his friends and stuff he's into but no pictures of me. If I'm suppose to be such a big part of his life, why is it there is absolutely nothing about me there? I feel like I'm overreacting and I have said something to him about it before because it was bothering me. He said he understood what I meant but nothing has changed. So am I overreacting and this new digital world should not mean so much to me? Or are my feelings valid?

Christina · Accepted Answer

My husband has pictures of me on his Facebook, and we have been tagged in pictures together. We had pictures of us together before we got married, too. I think that if you are together, the world should know.

jcmvergara · Answer

Yes

Ok... · Answer

I think you are missing the point; its not social media and whether he is showing you in his digital life or not....you should be looking at a bigger picture here.

You have been together for 10 yrs, and no marriage yet... when a guy is into a girl, his afraid of LOSING her.  He WILL marry her.  This dude isnt afraid of losing you... sorry but this is the truth.

#2 he said "I understand what youre saying" when you told him it bothered you.... but nothing has changed.   <---knows you are onto him, but doesnt care.  (Translation:  Not afraid of losing you.)

#3 guys that exclude their significant other "online" tend to do that, because they WANT TO LOOK SINGLE on social media.

Im sorry if this was tough love, but thats the truth, and if you were my best friend you'd hate me for saying this out loud.  Just plain HATE me.  But youd be more angry at yourself (and hurt ) because you know... that this was the truth.

Lastly:  There are BILLIONS of guys on this planet.  Yup, billions with a B...

So dont EVER get hung up on ONE guy, and the ONE guy that you have given 10 yrs of your life to, and still dont have anything in return... guys want to provide for you, make no mistake.  But it has to be the RIGHT guy.  Otherwise, women get stuck in a situation....exactly like yours.   Good luck, i really do feel for you.

p.s. Billions.... just saying.... change your life! Get out there!

Courtney · Answer

I wouldn't totally overreact to that, but it is strange that there is not one reference about you on his facebook or instagram. I would think he's hiding that he has a girlfriend. Ask him if you guys can at least put that you are in a relationship together on facebook. If he doesn't allow that then that's very strange.

Kevin W · Answer

Your overreacting.  Its hard to explain but some guys dont see the need to put out to the world they have a girlfriend.  We arent wired that way.  You know who he is, ignore the social media.

? · Answer

its hard to say if you are overreacting or not because some people would rather keep a relationship out of social media because it can bring all sorts of drama into a relationship

Anonymous · Answer

Sounds like she may have an ex lingering in the background. Either way, you didn't over react and made a good choice to move on.

Aquar.i · Answer

The truth with no B.S. Married guy and guys who are hooked up in real life  like to be single online. We like to have our cake and eat it too. That simple. If any guy tells you anything else it's a cover up or lie.

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Social Media, am I overreacting?

8 Answers