Is there hope with this guy? Help!?

Question

I've known this great guy for about 4 months and we've been hanging out a few times a month and sleeping together. One problem. He said in the beginning he didn't want a serious relationship, and I respected that and appreciated his complete honesty. We get along great, have great sex, and this past weekend we went away together and he would hold my hand in public. Driving in the car with me he said he was happy. He told me he likes me. At the same time he treats me like a good friend. He got dumped about a year and a half ago and I think that's why he's hesitant to be in a relationship, also because his job is very demanding and takes up a lot of his time. Ive developed feelings for him, and I'm just curious about others opinions of whether it's possible for him to fall for me and change his mind. Should I wait it out? Should I take sex off the table and see how he responds? Should I give up altogether? I really want him to be in my life still cause he's become one of my best friends.

Juniper · Accepted Answer

Sure it's possible; perhaps he HAS changed his mind or is at least considering it. 

I think it's time to have a very terrifying, awkward and difficult talk with him. I know that's probably the LAST thing you want to do, but unless you lay it on the table now you might wind up very hurt later. Perhaps you could even write him an e-mail and give him time to think it over. Just be honest with him; don't write him a novel or give him a speech, and make sure he knows it's okay if he hasn't changed his mind. But also, YOU need to be sure that he doesn't continue to use you, because whether he means to or not, by continuing this behavior with you, he IS leading you on. 

Just be like "Look, I know you said that you didn't want a relationship. But lately we've gotten really close and I'm starting to think that maybe a relationship wouldn't be such a terrible idea. I don't want to make things weird between us, and it's fine if you don't want to give it a proper shot. But I need to know one way or the other, because I don't think it's a good idea for me to continue a sexual relationship with you unless we have everything else as well. It's not going to end well for me otherwise. So think it over and let me know...and I DO still want to be friends, so don't fall off the face of the Earth, there really is no need for all of that"

Or something like that, you know, just don't put all your emotions out there on the table; just let him know you dig it if he does.

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Is there hope with this guy? Help!?

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