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Reyvrex asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 7 years ago

"Love Sonnet 204" we can't help but dream, care to C/C?

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Love Sonnet 204

Across dark thresholds sleep my dormant dreams,

Inspired by aspects seen while I'm awake,

Epitome of sweetness, my love seems,

That nectar bees seek earnestly to take;

A flower bloomed from primal buds of May,

And nurtured in the sun, glazed by the light,

Which even stars at night cannot display;

I pity blooms which do not glow as bright;

But comes a time when flowers cease to be,

To be more than pleasures to the eyes,

When beauty has become mere memory,

When purpose was fulfilled with its demise;

.....When in dark thresholds lie the sleeping seeds

.....Formed in fruits, when flower to fruit proceeds.

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5 Answers

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  • 7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    The comma, if at all, should go after "bloomed".

    Great closing lines.

  • 7 years ago

    Wow. I like this a lot. My only tweak is I want a comma after "a flower"

    A flower, bloomed from primal buds of May,

    I was shaky on the last line but got it right on reread. Sometimes I am hypersensitive because I am not a very good reader.

    Bravo.

  • 7 years ago

    We can`t help but dream

    A poet isn`t a mathematician

    He writes with feeling or emotion

    Something with art and not of science

    So a coma here or there varies with the set

    It is much an effect of the mind

    Like a dream that we can`t help.

  • 7 years ago

    A flower bloomed, from primal buds of May

    Nice Poem

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