Facing divorce of schizoaffective bipolar spouse?

I really feel for you. You are between a rock and a hard place.

I believe that at the end of the day you must put the welfare of the children foremost in your decision making.

I agree that he will probably not be happy with you seeking sole custody and that it could inflame the situation.

You are in a situation where not everyone can come out a winner. He has an illness that doesn't appear to be managed or medicated correctly. There are lots of people in the world with very serious mental illness's that are not a danger to themselves or anyone else because they accept they have an illness, get it diagnosed correctly and then work with a psychiatrist to find a course of medication (usually a few different pills) that controls the illness and allows them to lead a normal live.

I don't fully understand the health care system or child custody system you live in. However you be able to initially go for sole custody and seek supervised visitation which sounds like the smart thing from what you have said. During this process I assume you will have the opportunity to explain what you are doing and why. It may be the catalyst he needs to seek treatment and learn to manage his illness correctly for his benefit and his families.

I think you know what you need to do but maybe are looking for a way out. I'm sorry but I don't see any options for you. I would be possibly looking for some sort of protection order to be issued with the filing of the paperwork just in case he really gets agitated. Thats way he can't come around to your place (legally) and start problems and if he does you can ring the police.

In a lot of ways what happens from here is in his hands. He needs to become compliant with his diagnosis and work with a psychiatrist. Maybe in the future once his illness is managed correctly things can return to a more normal situation.

I wish you the best

1

In Australia just last week, a father (x husband) met up with his son at cricket training for his usual visit. He stabbed his son killing him. The father went mad with a knife and the police had to shoot the father dead also. This was a huge tragedy and was all over the news around Australia.

The Father had a mental illness and a history of similar violent episodes.

As painful as the whole court case may be, I think your daughter's safety should come first. Your husband is not even managing his illness - nor taking medication.

You need to discuss this with him if he will listen, that his condition is a serious one, and you don't blame him at all, but he needs to see that he is too erratic to care for his child - or any child.

My husband's Aunt has bi-polar and there are times that she has a freaky wild look in her eye. She has asked to mind our two girls - There is no way on Gods earth I will ever leave my kids with her. It's not that I blame her or hate her for how she is, I just know that she isn't always well, and that it is unpredictable. Use common sense, people caring for children need to be stable and safe people.

You need to do what's best for the child. Mental illness is a serious issue. I can help you make the decision. Imagine yourself as a 3rd party watching your marriage from the side. You know someone who is you, and you know your husband. You are familiar with the situation inside and out and now you need to tell this woman (who is you) what to do. What would you say to her if you were completely outside of this with no consequences except on your conscience to give the best advice?

There's always a trade off in life. It's very difficult to have everything the way you'd prefer it, and I understand your guilt in exposing his records. But what if you can't get sole custody after the sh*t hits the fan? What if she gets put in serious danger? Do you really want to be playing Russian roulette with your life?

Go for sole custody.

You sound like a very kind and caring person who wants to inflict as little pain as possible during this divorce. Unfortunately, your husband's illness is a danger to your daughter. That means you must do everything in your power to protect her, no matter what the cost is to you or your husband. She has no one else to protect her but you. Don't feel bad for doing what she needs you to do.

Sorry you have to deal with this.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Its very hard to watch someone you love become such an angry person. Reminds me of a song by Tim McGraw - Angry all the Time. I believe you probably did love her at some time and have been struggling with your feelings. Leaving isn't an easy choice. I would suggest talking to a lawyer on this one and finding out all the steps that are necessary. If you are going for full custody you have your work cut out for you. You'll need to prove her unfit which will be very painful for her. Do you have a dr that will sign off on something like that? You may need a restraining order. If you are responsible for her insurance that may not change even after the divorce. She may get alimony and continued insurance from you along with child support should she get the kids. A close friend of mine just went through this. It got crazy. He got worse and worse. There were stalking issues. Threats, fear of suicide. He was arrested for breaking a restraining order. Did it again after he got out of jail. Stayed in jail for a long time because of the lack of medical assistance. Just got really messy. I wish you the best. Good luck to you.

"The kids are 'fine' in his care"?! Not to be mean, but ARE YOU NUTS?! Sole custody. Period.

my husband is bipolar as we'll. to he attack me and went to jail but yet he comes claims it his son to but yet he doesn't help me with him but him clothes all that. but yet he have a lot of gfs am in the same shoes like u but diffrent he threat me and his parents don't belive that that taj would threat me witch is my husband name just do what it best for ur child.