My son is writing a paper and he needs 10 reviews. Help?

Alex took a running start from the elevator. CIC has been torn apart from the inside out and falling fast. The agency she built was done for and she had to get out. She pressed the unlock button on her Mercedes and jumped in. She put her foot on the gas and tore out of the parking garage cutting off traffic and pedestrians. She held her foot on the gas and drove dodging traffic buildings and people. She had to get away. The car hit fifth gear and she was hitting 170MPH. She got on the freeway but she still didn't feel safe. She felt even more of a betrayer. How did this happen? How did one man slam my agencies to the ground? she thought. She pulled off the freeway and into a small town away from Lexington. She was still going astonishingly fast and a silver Civic pulled out and sent her car flipping into a china shop. She crawled out bleeding on her left arm trying to figure out what happened. The silver car was stopped and a man got out. "Raven." She said in her thick Russian accent. "Alex. Nice to see you bowing down to me." His words made Alex twitch and she stood up staring him in the eyes, "I will NEVER bow down to you. You will bow down to me Raven."

"Ah Alex. You're so ignorant!"

"Ignorant? You tore me and CIC apart!" She screamed making her voice heard.

"No Alex. You tore it apart." He said turning around and walking back to the car.

She grabbed the gun from her holster but raven turned around twirling it around his finger tips," No no Alex. You cant do that."

She looked down then back at him," You took my gun? YOU TOOK MY GUN?!?"

"Yes Alex. You cant be trusted."

"Then how about this," She kicked her heal up and twisted the spike and a barrel opened up at the toe.

"Well Alex. Clever."

"Yea. Guess I am."

She pressed the trigger and it knocked Raven to the cement. He got up holding his shoulder. And dropped her gun on the ground, "Fine. You win."

Sirens went off and people watching them started running. She looked up at the sky and looked at Raven," Well. I guess you win. We are both dead now. The sky turned red and missiles ripped through the sky. She looked on then back at raven," Raven. We have done so much to each other because of our petty disagreement. I can look at you now knowing I don't want to carry this to my grave...Im sorry."

Raven knew Alex was not the type to say she was sorry and not mean it so he looked at her sad deep brown eyes," Alex I'm sorry to."

The ground shook and there was no escaping. There was no shelter. There was no home.

This is his part of his paper. He wrote 25 pages and this is the end. Let me know what you think or what could be changed? Thank you!!!