Having both a maid of honor and man of honor?

Question

So I'm getting married, and I REALLY want to have both my brother sister in my wedding. My fiance already has his best man and groomsmen picked out, and he doesn't know my brother too well (my brother lives across the country and they've only met a few times). He's not opposed to having him as a groomsman, but I know it will be a lot more meaningful for everyone if my brother is in my side of the wedding party.

However, I'm already planning on asking my sister to be my maid of honor. See, the three of us are triplets, and I'm very close with both of them (I've long considered them to be my two best friends). I thought it was a great idea to have them be my honor attendants, but a couple of my friends are saying that it would be weird for people. Just looking to see what other people think about this matter.

Cecesan · Accepted Answer

You have chosen very close people in your wedding entourage but you miss out one very important thing in a successful wedding planning. Do you have anybody more trustworthy than your sisters and brothers to be the one to welcome the guests, to receive any gifts etc, to usher guests to their seats, to take pictures,  to communicate and coordinate with you as the celebration enfolds like when the wedding march begins and people are seated and comfortable, the caterers, florist, cake, chair ties and table cloth, center pieces etc,  People who loved you and very close to you dearly, will undertake even volunteer to supervise and oversee that everything and everyone is well taken care of. Those people lining up with you can be looking pretty are usually your best or good friends but families are those behind the scene, sweating it out for you. That's family and that's what love is all about *

? · Answer

The only problem with your plan is that it may telegraph to the people in the pews that there's some kind of rift between your groom and your brother.  Normally he'd be a groomsman, so they may be wondering why he isn't.  And what is his function on your side?  

Also, your sister will be doing a lot as maid of honor.  Just because of his sex, your brother probably won't be attending or throwing bridal showers and dress shopping and putting together gift bags and so on.  The titles are equal, but the work won't be.  

You can do whatever you want at the reception, but for the formal part of the wedding, I'd put him with the groomsmen.  

Best of luck.

Anonymous · Answer

Everyone will be so shocked and disappointed they won't stay for the wonderful food and free drinks and dance with the beautiful bride and will all be very huffy and leave in a great swirling of textiles, dresses, and suits and break down the door to get out.
It will be wonderful just as you are planning,

Sue B · Answer

It is your wedding, so I believe it's yours to do, without having others decide.  Your groom does have the right to have who he wants to stand with him, just as you do.   Have you asked the brother though, how he'd feel standing on the side where typical ladies stand?

she who · Answer

I think that would be so nice especially since you are triplets. Who cares what other people might think this is what you want to do to make your wedding even more special.

Anonymous · Answer

I think it is a great idea.  Who cares what others think.  It is YOUR wedding, do what you want.  BUT, you do not want to make your to-be-husband mad.

Trending News

Having both a maid of honor and man of honor?

6 Answers