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Please can I have your opinion?

I don't think my boyfriend's best friend is a bad person, but he's leading my boyfriend in completely the wrong direction. He got my boyfriend into shoplifting and they smoke cannabis together. They actually got caught shoplifting and the police were involved. They also used to take codeine while at work for fun, and my boyfriend only stopped this after I told him how dangerous this was. His friend even passed out as they overdosed that badly. My boyfriend is trying to stop now but keeps getting very bad headaches which are only fixed by codeine so he still takes it. So I feel as though they just mess around at 'work.' A few weeks back my boyfriend was coming with me to the hospital. Then his friend asked him to go to Wales with him at the same time. My boyfriend still came with my but told his friend that he had an appointment because apparently me having an appointment wouldn't be an acceptable excuse not to go.

My boyfriend has also been round my house, then asked me to drive him home to go with his friend to pick up some cannabis. Then expected me to go and visit him as soon as he was home - this really annoyed me, especially as my fuel budget is very tight and he knows it.

I really feel as though my boyfriends friend is holding him back and as though he's not a true friend - but my boyfriend thinks he's like a brother, what sort of friend would act like that? I don't know what to do, if I give him the choice between him or me, I really don't know what'd he'd do.

Update:

They're that close that even if I mentioned not seeing him so much I think he'd snap at me. He won't even get a proper job because he'd rather spend time doing electrical work with this friend. I think he looks up to him so much because my boyfriend is 23 and his friend is 36.

2 Answers

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  • 7 years ago

    first of all i wouldn't give him the choice between the two of you. I hate to say it but friends always win. Even if he loves you his friend will probably win out. Maybe you need a different approach like making him understand how the things they are doing is wrong and how long term it will impact on him.

    Also i think don't start lecturing him about it. He's not a child, he can probably come up with the same argument as you can and he knows he's doing stupid things. Maybe get someone else to mention stuff? or say it in a non leading way?

    I just think try and avoid bad mouthing his friend and telling your boyfriend what to do because in no scario will he turn around and suddenly go 'ok' and drop everything you don't like. He will most probably get mad so tread lightly.

    good luck

  • 7 years ago

    your boyfriend is to blame in this as well , its not just his friend .... or is your boyfriend incapable of making decisions ? in which case why are you with him ?

    secondly : thumbs up , for being the drug mule ....

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