I need my dad?

You should not have to work to earn the love of your parents. They ARE your parents and they should love you unconditionally (no matter what you do)

I spent all of my childhood having to learn this lesson the hard way as my mother did not love me and I tried very hard to make her love me and thought that it was my fault - that I had done something that made her not love me or that I was just a very unlovable child. (I have a sister who my mother loved)

It did not help that I was bullied at school because of learning difficulties.

I tried making things for her and I tried learning to play games that I knew she liked I even changed my religion to the religion of my mother. but none of it changed her feelings towards me.

My sister and I both severed all ties with our mother and intend to never see her again.

There is a part of me that still feels like I need a mother but I know that the woman who brought me into the world will never be able to fill that need and I no longer want her to. But when I have children I will never let them feel this kind of pain.

If you still want to try reaching out to your father try it in the form of a letter and ask your brother to give it to him but please don't go down the road of self harm - I did and its the one thing in my life that I wish I had never done...

Try counselling. talking to a trained professional can really help you and there is nothing wrong with doing so. (I did and it really helped me)

Most of all good luck and stay strong.

Yes, you can buy him a flower from a large grocery company. One can also get him a card from a large drugstore and perhaps one card can say how much you need your Dad.

Give those two things and wait to see if he understands that indirect message that one needs a dad in ones life. Good luck.

I was a college professor.

Try writing him a letter and making a list of all the things that he does that bothers you. Tell him that he doesn't understand you and you want to talk about everything on the list. Give him the letter and ask that read he it and you will talk to him about it later. When later comes ask him to talk. See how he responds.