Challenging female monologue?

Hello! I know two great ones! However, they're both very long, so you would need to cut them down. But that's easy.

1)I have been wrongfully accused. I am hated by almost everyone and cursed everywhere I go. I am held responsible for some of the most terrible things experienced by communities, families, and lovers. They blame me for the crimes of others, the crimes of stupidity, and the crimes of fate. They say I am the enemy of hope and love, and I happen to be friends of both. I have a job like everyone else; I perform the same task day in and day out like the rest of you. I am just a necessary as the garbage man, more necessary than the garbage man actually even though we perform the same basic function. Do you blame him that you peeled a banana and have thrown out the peel; is he scorned for taking it to where it’s supposed to be?... Although if I am the garbage man what does that make you; I am Death, I come to you all. Without me Life could never be reborn. It would linger and stagnate. I am the effect not the cause. If a person is caught in an avalanche or drowns is that my fault. Yes I have come but not of my own will, I am as trapped as the souls who call me. Did you know I’ve never seen a birthday? I’ve never seen a wedding, never seen love; only grief, only the last lingering moments at the tail end of a life. I only see the aftermath, the despair, the loneliness; I’ve watched the eyes of a person filled with desperation and horror while they watch their lover slip away in a hospital bed. I’ve watched children shaking their parents, begging for them to wake up, too young to comprehend the image of a bullet riddled body, and yet even they understand me, they know death when they see it; what irony, that one’s so young could not understand a lover’s kiss, and yet they know me. The thing that you people take for granted is staggering. What do I know of food? I know what it is to watch your child choke to death of a piece of meat; I know what it is to scream silently in desperation as your face turns blue and everything fades into the horrifying darkness. I know nothing of love, all I know is what it is to lose love in the most horrific fashions, to be betrayed by lovers. And sex does nothing but disgust me; the endless shrieks of dying agony from thousands of raped women will ring in my ears for eternity. Every time I close my eyes I can see the life slipping from theirs, the horror reflected by them, their last experience in life, frozen in my mind for all of time. Through everything I’ve witnessed I will tell you the most beautiful thing I’ve seen. I was called into a house, I entered the bedroom and I saw an old woman lying in the arms of her husband. They looked up at me when I entered and smiled and she said, “We’ve been waiting for you.” And then they turned to one another, and they kissed each other, and then I took them both. The closest thing I have ever come to experiencing love was witnessing the sparkle in their eyes when they looked at one another, that sparkle still shines, a tiny light in the darkness. It really should be me who hates you. But that single moment in a vast ocean of horror, grief, and anguish keeps me from that. Even Death has hope, hope of freezing another moment of love in time, and perhaps this time I’ll understand what love is.

2) Crazy? Define crazy. Am I crazy? Do I look crazy to

you? Do you know what crazy is? How would you know

what crazy is? Have you ever been crazy? I've never

been crazy. I don't know what crazy is. Am I crazy?

Why do you think I'm crazy? Just because of what

happened to me? Do you even know what happened to me,

Doctor? Or do you just know what it says on that

paper? "Lost two children in fire." I know what it

says, and I know what it means. Do you know what it

means? How could you? Were you there that day? Did

you see my life go to hell in a matter of seconds?

Did you ever see my girls, EVER? Then how do you know

what happened to me? Has it ever happened to you? I

didn't think so. Now let me help you understand that

paper a little bit better. (Beat) I had everything

anyone could ever want: a loving husband, a beautiful

house and wonderful children. I had my two little

twins, Maggie and Betty; they could brighten up the

worst days. (Beat) Then came the fire. It all

happened so fast, it seems like a dream. I wish it

were a dream. Then I wouldn't have this pain of

letting them go and realizing that they are gone

forever because of me! I found the girls upstairs

playing with a box of matches, I took the matches and

hid them. I know I did. But I must have missed one.

We all went down for naps, and I actually fell

asleep, which is weird because I never sleep during

the day. I woke up to my oldest daughter, Susan,

screaming and crying. I opened my eyes to see that

her blonde hair was black! "What happened?" I asked

suddenly alert. "My bed is on fire!" She screamed. I

leapt out of bed and ran to the phone. "George! This

is your sister, Sarah, get over here right now, my

house is on fire and I think Maggie and Betty are

trapped upstairs." I hung up the phone and ran for

the stairs. On my way up the stairs collapsed and I

fell, breaking my arm. I kept trying to get out of

there and up to my babies, but I couldn't get out

with only one good arm. Then George appeared and

pulled me up. Then he dashed up the stairs after the

girls, but he didn't get much further than I did

before the stairs gave way on him as well. He broke

both his ankles. I could here the girls

screaming and crying. It broke my heart, but now I

realize that was music to my ears compared to what I

heard next.silence. When they stopped crying I.I

knew.the fire had got them. I was ecstatically

depressed. I started screaming like I was crazy. I

screamed their names, begging them to start crying

again, anything to let me know they were alive,

(pause) but I never heard them cry again.

Now, am I crazy Doctor? What is crazy? Define crazy.

Is crazy loosing your children in a fire you could

have prevented just by checking their pockets and the

floor for that one little match you missed, or by

explaining a little bit more about how dangerous it

is to play with fire? Is that crazy? No, I'm not

crazy, but do you know what is? They found the bodies

of my innocent babies behind the furnace. The

furnace! I didn't even think that a rat could fit

behind that furnace, but they were there, huddled

together with their arm wrapped around each other,

trying to protect each other form the flames. WHY

THEM? WHY NOT ME? They weren't even three years old

yet! I am old! I've lived a long enough life! Why did

God take away two children if he loves them so much?

I know what you're thinking now. You think I'm crazy,

but what is crazy? Where is crazy? When is crazy? Why

do you think you can tell people they are crazy? How

do you define crazy? Who is crazy, Doctor? Me.or you?

Not me, Doctor, it must be you.

Hope this helps!

-Sarah