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About to break up with my best friend but it's her birthday so I need advice first?
After a series of arguments since last summer and a definite feeling of drifting apart since we both started uni in September (I moved away, she stayed in our home city) that have caused us upsetting each other, anything I've said has mainly been in retaliation to things she accused me of, the fact she's introduced double standards to our relationship (they've always been there but are far more pronounced now) and generally made me feel not good enough to be around her never mind be her best friend, as we have been for nearly 16 years, I've constructed a message to send to her next week that will hopefully amicably 'break us up'.
I'm waiting till next week because today is her birthday and I don't want to be the ***** that ruined her birthday. We had a discussion before my bday two weeks ago that ended with us acknowledging the distance between us, the upset we've caused each other and that we don't really know what to do next. Then on my bday she text me at 9 at night saying 'happy birthday, hope you have had a good day x' which I appreciated but thought it was very polite. We haven't spoken till today when I text at 9 this morning, wishing her a happy bday and hoped she was having a lovely time away with her bf.
She hasn't replied and I don't know what to do. It could be because she's abroad and doesn't want to spend the extra money on texts or yet again I could be excusing her behaviour. Her party is on Friday and I'm invited.
Advice please? Thanks in advance!
I know saying I have come up with a message looks like I don't care but I really do, it's just that this relationship has run it's course and it'll be better for us both if it ends. However, 16 years is a lot to let go of and I'm hurting about it all as well as feeling confused.
She invited me to her party via a group fb message and expressed happiness when every other person replied they were going except for me.
2 Answers
- A Decade AgoLv 77 years ago
She could just be very busy and distracted, which is why she's not responding. Or maybe she saw it, appreciated it, and did not think she had to respond, or will do so later. That's the trouble texting. The other expects a response, but the other thinks it's not necessary. Horrible, HORRIBLE way of communicating with a person.
Anyway, yes, I would go to her party. Try to act normal, don't be misery or carry a depressing cloud. Just enjoy the last times with her if breaking things off with her is something you really intend to do, which I support, because you don't want people in your life that make you dreadful and where you fight all the time. It's not to get back at her, but save you energy, health, and bring peace.
And who knows, maybe when you do do this, she might actually realize how much she took you for granted and might chase you down to have one of the greatest talks you both should have had earlier.
But yes, after the party, wait a few days, and then drop the bomb on her.
**EDIT**
Maybe her inviting you to the party MIGHT be her way of trying to patch things up. She obviously thought enough about you to invite you. I would try to be observable of how you both are in person. The relationship might be able to be saved by this party.
- MartinLv 77 years ago
She's been your best friend for all that time and you are willing to lose that friendship altogether? So what if you drift apart a bit or aren't as close as you used to be - that's no reason to end your friendship altogether. Stop being a drama queen and just be a friend.
