Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and beginning April 20th, 2021 (Eastern Time) the Yahoo Answers website will be in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.

Reyvrex asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 7 years ago

"Love Sonnet 212" Care to Critique and/or Comment?

.

Sonnet 212

Did Happiness leave with the revelries?

Or with the reasons to indulge in one?

The smiles stamped on my face are forgeries,

As nothing genuine I have now done;

You’ve gone, too far, none of my thoughts have reached,

And came back once, but only passing through,

For ever since the love, its binds, were breached,

Goodbye has made you grace my dreams for show;

Your essence dwelt not in the substance shown,

Like foliage without the rosy blooms,

Or royalty stripped of the kingly throne,

If not like ambiance of empty rooms;

…..The world is round, the farther you depart,

…..You’ll come around nearer, back to the start.

.

2 Answers

Relevance
  • Thomas
    Lv 7
    6 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Lovely story and almost flawless Iambic Pentameter.

    Your one error (imho) was last line "nearer"

    the stress is on the first syllable NEAR-er

    you have in reverse which wrenches the flow.

    Still, a very good sonnet.

    Where have you gone bro Questor?

  • ?
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    Very good sonnet. Good Luck

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.