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What do relationship counsellors do other than suggesting divorce/breakup?
5 Answers
- AnonymousLv 57 years ago
I think that private relationship counselors are not the ones suggesting the divorce or break up. Instead, it is a kind of advice offered in popular psychology in the media.
This is because of the common message propagated by popular experts that a person cannot be changed and it is best not to try and to leave if in an abusive or otherwise toxic relationship. The stories are those we are all familiar with. People stay for years in relationships that are abusive or ones in which they are lied to, cheated on, taken advantage of, where there is alcohol/drug abuse, etc. in the hopes that the person will change. In the end the person does not change, and over time the problem escalates. So the popular psychologist strives to demonstrate that it is best to leave and not bank on change, before things get worse.
As a result, it seems all too common that when a marital or relationship problem is being discussed, on the internet or in a magazine and such, people are anxious to call out, "oh, I know this one! I saw it on Sally Jesse Raphael! Leave! Get out!" One feels sorry for all the marriages that could have made it through the bumps in the road that have broken up because someone, while feeling insecure, took such poor knee-jerk advice. I think popular psychologists don't often take on the approaches to working on problems in marriages that are worth working on. It is more complicated for one thing, and doesn't have the sensationalist appeal, either.
- Anonymous7 years ago
It might seem that way, but most couples have already decided to leave by the time they talk to a marriage counselor. They started therapy too late because their relationship is already in ashes.
- ★ Ambsnicole ♥Lv 77 years ago
They try and leave divorce and breakups out of the air because they are their because they try to work out their problems and not throw their relationships away. They also try to keep divorce and breakups out the question when they know that their patients have children together.
- sophiebLv 77 years ago
relationship counselors are licensed by the state. When you go for an appointment they don't want to waste their and your time so their first question to you both is "do you want to stay together?" If the answer is yes then they proceed down the path of how to open up communication between the two parties. They might ask one a lot of questions and get their responses then set up an appointment to hear the other person's responses to their questions. If you have that kind of counselor then go find yourself another one since that kind of approach starts more arguments. All appointments should hear both sides and discuss one point. Another appointment to discuss another point. But it's like talking to a shrink in that they're going to ask "what do YOU think is going on" and "why do YOU feel that way" and "what do YOU think the answer would be to this or that or if you can't do the work the counselor suggests (homework) and if you're not the kind of person who has a lot of answers or is able to think like that well marriage counseling isn't for you.
If things appear to have come to a standstill then they might suggest divorce but not always.
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- Anonymous7 years ago
Relationship counseling is part of my work as a Counseling Psychologist. We do not suggest people do anything. We especially don't suggest divorce or breaking up. What we actually do is encourage conversation, because a lot of marital problems occur through lack of meaningful dialogue. Through dialogue, and identifying where things have been going wrong in the relationship and what continues to attract each partner to the other, decisions can be made more maturely. Those decisions are not suggested - ever - by the counselor, but are made by the couple. Couples counseling is about allowing the clients to realize they have choices and knowing their capacity for making choices, to share their ideas about the choices with each other, and then doing what they feel they have to do.