How do I break up with him?

Question

I love my boyfriend a lot and he's my best friend, however I'm really paranoid that he's going to cheat on me or upset me.

He cheated on his ex-girlfriend of 5 years whilst he was drunk, and he has lied to me about a few things. He hasn't lied about anything too serious, but he has still lied. For example, he had a friend who seriously fancied him before we got together, as soon as she found out about the two of us she suddenly hated me (I didn't even know she liked him). She's been horrible to me since however last week he offered to give her a lift behind my back, I found out but I can't help but think it was more than a lift. I now feel paranoid if he goes out with his friends and I don't think I can cope with the stress any more.

I've tried to break up with him before, but whenever I'm with him I just fall in love with him all over again and he always sweet talks me back to him. However when we're alone, I feel really stressed and hate it. I can't live my life like this.

Last time I tried to break up, he said he just wanted to be friends. However it was clear that whenever we were together we acted like more than friends, which is obviously not allowing each other to move on.

I love him and want to be friends with him but I just can't do it any more. What do I do?

Lexi · Answer

Honestly, just talk to him about it, if he loves you he'll do something to fix it, not that he is even going to cheat, every relationship has it's issues and most of it is caused by poor communication. Good communication is the best way to a healthy relationship, if you don't have that then it's doomed. He obviously chose you over that girl right? That should speak for itself, and plus, you said it yourself as well, he cheated on his ex-girlfriend once whilst drunk, no sure sign that he'd do it again, obviously it was an accident, people tend to do stupid sh*t when they are drunk.

edie · Answer

one thing you have too many "how ever". if you knew that he had cheated on someone else after being with them for 5 years it's a given that he might  cheat on you and leave you too. if he has lied about anything even if it is a little lie or not so big a lie as you call it, he lied, and it's a lie. with every thing that you are going through with him you need to start over with someone else that don't have so much drama. .he is but one guy when there are other guys out there that might be looking for a girl like you. you need to just walk way and forget him don't see him any more. when you are temped to see him think of how much pain he has given you and just stop and ask yourself if you want to continue to go through this pain any longer and for how much longer do you want to be in this situation. he is not worth it for you to be upset like this. beside that he is a liar and can't be trusted. and this is who you are in love with?  don't be weak you have to be strong and walk away.

Anonymous · Answer

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Purple Princess · Answer

Just because he cheated in the past does not mean he will cheat on you.  I have cheated in the past, but I haven't cheated in years.  I would never cheat now.  I was young and selfish and there was alcohol involved.  It isn't really fair to punish him for a mistake he made before the two of you were even together.

However, you also said he has lied to you.  If he is consistently dishonest with you then you probably can't trust him.  If you can't trust him then it will be impossible to have a successful, happy, relationship with him.

If you decide to walk away - cut the cord completely.  Don't try to be friends.  You'll just end up getting back together and dragging things out even longer.  Make a clean break and maybe down the line the two of you can be friends when there are no romantic feelings for each other.

Good luck.

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How do I break up with him?

4 Answers