What do you class as cheating?

Question

My boyfriend decide to flirt with another girl on facebook, I found out and naturally wasn't happy about it. He cried, said he was sorry and says he can't even explain to himself why he did that to me because apparently he wants to be with me forever and loves me.

I told him I couldn't trust him, so our relationship was kind of in the balance. He then continued to talk to this girl, he arranged to meet her a few time (but never asked for her phone number or address) and kept giving her excuses and letting her down. I have seen proof of this from the girl.

He apparently wanted to mess her around as talking to her had messed up our relationship, so he led her on and kept letting her down. I don't fully understand why? There was a large chance our relationship would get back on track.

I told him I didn't want to be with him because he didn't just stop messaging her and try to gain back my trust. He says he only continued to talk to her in anger and he wanted to upset someone else to make himself feel better.

I class all of this as cheating, however he only classes sleeping with someone as cheating. Am I right to call this cheating?

icpooreman · Answer

100% not cheating.  If you tell somebody post breakup your bf cheated on you then give them that story they'll be like this girl is craaazy...

Nobody wants to see their partner flirt in front of them.  Of that he is guilty.  Maybe you should be mad at him for it, maybe in your mind it's even a breakupable offense nobody can fault you for that.  But it's not cheating.

People like other people.  If you date somebody for a long time you will in your day to day life come across some other guy you find attractive that you might think hey maybe this guy would be a good option for me.  Is that cheating?  Cheating is acting on it in my mind.  You can't not be attracted to anybody ever again once in a relationship and neither can your boyfriend that's not how life works.  Flirting is uncomfortable cause it's maybe a step towards acting on it if you wanted to go that route but I think it's a big step below cheating.

Anonymous · Answer

yes you are right to call it cheating. Its a lower form of cheating. I looked up the definition of cheating and this is what it said ''Cheating can occur in various forms: physical, emotional, or online. Online infidelity is one way to cheat on a significant other" and this would be in the online case. he was doing something with a girl that he knew you wouldnt like but still did it anyway and that is wrong. he was having an emotional relationship with another girl. that is wrong and dont let him tell you otherwise. He sounds like a bad person just because of what you said here: " he wanted to upset someone else to make himself feel better." why would you want to be with a guy that is trying to hurt other people on purpose? That girl is probably heartbroken right now because of his actions. that is very wrong and in my opinion i think you should find a new relationship. you and that other girl deserve so much better.

? · Answer

Yes, you are right. Move on as he is a player and does not want to settle down. The tears are emotional blackmail.

Justin Mitchell · Answer

I disagree with what was said before me ^ with me being a guy I know that sometimes you do things you don't mean. I really doubt he realized what he was doing when he did it. I mean accidents can happen right? You shouldn't find someone else because he made a mistake. However if he doesn't something of this sort again. Then it's time to move on. You could call this cheating but I would say it wasn't intentional. Where most cheating is. I'm my opinion, let him know what he did wrong and forgive him. But it's your choice

LaLa · Answer

No. I agree with you. He was messing this other girl around, if he did love you as much as he said he did he wouldnt of done it in the first place and would of DEFINITELY stopped when you raised your concern about it. If you couldnt trust him after the first time you found out, how does he expect you to trust him and be with him after finding out he continued on messing around this other girl? Its up to you what you do, but do you really want to stay with someone who wanted to make someone elses life miserable just to feel better about themself? x

Leah · Answer

If you need to hide it, it's cheating
If you'd feel upset if the other person did it, it's cheating
If you need to question whether it is or not, yup! It's cheating.

Fair enough, he didn't do the deed itself, but he was already making steps for it to happen. It's like saying "I didn't kill him, I just bought the poison". He intended to cheat, so in my books, it's as good as cheating

? · Answer

Cheating is kind of a subjective term. Personally I wouldn't call flirting cheating, unless they actually meet up with the intent of doing something else than flirting.

What he has done here isn't just flirting, though. He chose to talk to this girl and ask to meet up, he also chose to keep on talking to her. It sounds to me like he doesn't really respect your relationship, he can't just say that he was mad or whatever. This girl didn't put your relationship in jeopardy, HE did by what he did.

If he can't take the consequences for the stupid things he do, then he's not even mature enough to be in a proper relationship. If he wants you two to work out he needs to completely cut contact with her, period.

? · Answer

Dump the Douche!

Anonymous · Answer

This question makes me  happy to be single.

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What do you class as cheating?

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