Girls, is this LDR done? She backed out on the second plan?

Question

LDR girl that I've been exclusive with for about 5 months. I haven't met her in person yet. We both always say we love each other and she even talks of a future with us. So I planned to drive 7 hours to her and we were all so freaking excited. The night before we were talking and she asked if I still thought this was a good idea.

Apparently she's terrified that when I visit things will go wrong. Like she'll love me but I won't feel the same anymore. That I'm her best friend as well as her lover and what if I ended up hating her.

She said she wasn't ready and she felt really bad about it. She wasn't worried about meeting me, and she really wanted me there, but couldn't get over that she was scared.

I didn't beg her to change her mind and just kept saying okay. This is the second time I planned to visit her and it didn't work out. I'm just frustrated because I keep taking days off work and she's "not ready yet" I call BS but I dunno.

THEN, I text her and SHE'S short with me. I'm supposed to be mad at HER. Anyway I ask what's up and she said it again that it was purely because she freaks herself out and she thinks it'll get messed up.

Since she cancelled she hasn't been texting the same. Also I saw a snapchat story of (who she says) is her gay friend who is like a brother to her. It's a funny pic of him on his phone in the shower. 
She even said she was constantly thinking about me.

1. Should I believe her?
2. Why isn't she texting me like she used to?

Sarah · Accepted Answer

Yes you should believe her. In LDR things are different in real life than just texting. It sounds like she cares about you. However she should be putting in a little more effort to see you. Why doesn't she ever go to you? I just think there needs to be more trust in the relationship. Trust that you'll make it work and won't give up on each other.

? · Answer

I think maybe she was just happy that a guy was interested in her, and texting her often, and was willing to drive so long just to see her in person. She possibly got too wrapped up in the excitement of meeting you, and is scared that you might not be who she thinks you are when you meet her in person.

I think she's coming up with lots of things that could go wrong if you came up, and doesn't want to risk anything.

Maybe something else is going on in her life that is making her short-tempered and frazzled about meeting you in person, which is causing enough nerves on its own.

If you just leave her alone for a bit, maybe she'll calm down for sure and talk to you about why she's so nervous, then hopefully it will work out for you two.

Hope this helped!

? · Answer

I think that you need to go out and meet her ASAP. I mean if she is worried that once she meets you and it doesn't work out, better that you find that out now then say 5 months down the road when you are much more invested in the relationship. Tell her that she has nothing to worry about and take the leap of faith, because you will never know if it can work until you actually meet in person. Good luck!

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Girls, is this LDR done? She backed out on the second plan?

3 Answers