Ex Jehovahs witnesses, tell me how you handle this.?

Question

This is aimed at Ex JWs who still have active JW parents. My sister is disfellowshipped. I walked away with out being baptized. But they see me the same way as they do my sister. My mother is an active JW. When the time comes and she leaves this world. It will be up to my sister and I to handle the final arrangements. No doubt a large number of active JWs will attend her viewing and subsequent funeral. I have no problem with that or them. The problem will be of their creation. Being that one is disfellowshipped and the other walked away. They're not going to want to talk to or acknowledge either one of us in any way. Which is going to make things awkward at best and a little tense at worst. They might, and I stress the word might, talk to me some. But that will most likely be kept to a minimum.

So what is our move as her children? If they ignore us, ignore them? Or seek them out and at least be social? Neither my sister or I would do anything to make a scene. That would be disrespectful to our mother and the occasion. If it plays out that way. Our obvious irritation will be masked rather well and released at a more appropriate time and place.

If you are an ex JW who has been in this situation already. What did you do? What did you not do? I hope that it is quite some time before my sister & I are faced with this situation. But I feel like I should be prepared in advance. And to the active JWs. Save your breath. One or both of us being reinstated is NOT happening.

Jason · Accepted Answer

My mother cut all ties and walked away from me many years ago. When she dies, I will likely not be informed. I occasionally scour the internet looking for her obituary... nothing yet. I assume her arrangements will be handled by her cult members.

If I were even remotely plugged in, depending on her wishes, I would have a quiet wake in my home or a funeral home. I would not involve the kingdom hall AT ALL. Those who wish to pay their respects may do so without any concern of harassment on my part. I will, however, have as many non-JW friends around me as possible so they can see for themselves what cold, hollowed out, heartless zombies the Watchtower cult can turn its members into.

I would use the occasion to make a solid anti-witness.

Kitledge · Answer

Though an ex-JW (left 1985, not DF'd, not DA'd), I am not in your situation but can still make a few suggestions.

My own 88 year-old mother, an active JW, continues to speak to me, something for which I am thankful.  Using Christian discernment, she has chosen, in good conscience, to disregard the WT's humanistic enforcement of an unscriptural practice, shunning.  My sister, also an active JW, treats me the same as any sister should properly treat her older brother, with love and kindness.  You haven't said whether your mother has been shunning you but, in the end, it is of no consequence.  Your Mom is facing her own mortality and you, as her son will need to deal with that in a proper Christian manner.

In your place, I would hold the event in a neutral setting, i.e. a funeral home, letting as many of your friends attend for support.  If JW's from your mother's congregation come to pay their last respect, then so be it.  Mike's recommendation is correct, be polite, appreciative of their coming, making the JWs feel welcomed to the sad event.  It would be a mistake to behave in the same fashion as they have treated you and your sister, which would provide additional fodder for further criticism and condemnation from the judgmental JWs.  Behaving as a Christian, respectful of other belief's, will disarm them, by the simple display of your own proper Christian conduct.

Remember that Christian love, kindness and respect has no boundaries, regardless of how you have been personally treated by JWs, understanding they have been corrupted by a legalistic Org into thinking they are doing the right thing.

I am sorry to hear about your Mom's impending passing and hope that all will go well.

Mike · Answer

I am not an ex Jdub but will spare you on my details.  However, I would say to be social.  Don't ignore anyone.  You should be decent and let them be the lunatics.  I wouldn't know the numbers of how many will show up, but because of you and your sister many will stay home.

Anonymous · Answer

You have described a heartless unchristian cult very well .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WJkEwQoak4

Anonymous · Answer

becarfull they can turn you into car

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Ex Jehovahs witnesses, tell me how you handle this.?

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