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My mother is afraid of my deceased father. How can I help?

Here's some background info: My dad passed away totally unexpectedly (no prior ailments or diseases) 4 weeks ago. And ever since, my mom is afraid to sleep alone. So my sisters and I(I'm a girl) take turns sleeping next to her, just to keep her calm.

But I don't know why Jamaicans are so terrified of the dead. Not like anyone likes ghosts, but it's to the point that she doesn't want to shower in her master bathroom without one of us in the bedroom.

Another example, per my mom's request, we moved the furniture around in her bedroom.

I have a theory that she's afraid of being taken away or attacked my dad's ghost, despite my parents being on great terms prior to his death.

I lived with my parents my whole life, so trying to cope is extremely difficult for me. But knowing my mom thinks the wonderful man that my father is is some sort of menacing ghost, is pretty unsettling.

How can I help her? She doesn't even want to talk about him, since the funeral 3 days ago. And I don't want her to live in fear! It's like she forgot how spectacular and loving my father is, and classifies him as a terrifying ghost.

6 Answers

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I'm very sorry your father died. Your mother is grieving. You all need to be there for each other. I don't know if your mother is superstitious...I have heard of superstition from the Caribbean.

    You all need a chance to mourn your loss. Tell your mom that he loves her and is looking over her for protection.

    I don't really believe in ghosts, but you may need to help your mother understand he wouldn't scare her.

    I really don't know what to say. It's such a big change, your mom just needs time to adjust.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    Hmm . . . or maybe she's afraid that whatever "got" him (in her mind) will "get" her too. Since she won't talk about it, who knows what's going through her mind? It sounds like your mom needs some professional counseling. This death is a lot harder on her than it is on you, and her superstitions don't help. If you can't afford professional help, maybe get her to a reputable and free Christian counselor. Some pastors are trained in this sort of thing. Is there anyone there you could ask for advice? A school counselor perhaps?

  • 7 years ago

    If your father died 4 weeks ago, why was his funeral 3 days ago...?

    Honestly, the only thing you can do is to get your mom some help. It's okay to get help.

  • 7 years ago

    If she trusts the Bible and believes in God you can show her that when we die we can't hurt anybody, we're not conscious of anything anymore. Ecclesiastes9:5,6,10.

    You can also read John Chapter 11 when Lazarus died and Jesus later resurrected him. Lazarus never spoke about being alive in heaven, hell or in limbo.

    She can be at peace that he's in God's memory and nowhere else.

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  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    Enemies? Santeria. Voodoo? Could a spell or hex have first been put on your dad, now mom? Any jealous relatives? Playing peaceful music helps. Take your mom seriously...which you are. Ask her what to do, she's your mom. Tell her you trust her

  • 7 years ago

    I'm sorry for your loss.

    Ask your mother if your father would have wanted to hurt her while he was alive - of course not - so why would he want to hurt her (if he could) now he is dead?

    That's what we told my Aunt who refused to visit her father in her childhood home after her mother died (in a hospital). It worked :)

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