What lubricants are good for sex but also personal time, if possible, can I get a small list and from personal experience, if possible.?

For sex with condoms and latex or silicone toys, use a water based lube only, which will be most lubes, from KY to Astroglide. Many water based lubes are glycerin based, a small amount of females will have issues with glycerin contributing to possible yeast infections, so ladies prone to YIs might prefer silicone.

For silicone toys, never use a silicone lube. Silicone lubes are fine on latex, but will eat silicone. Some people may be sensitive to silicone, but it also lasts much longer than a water based lube, and may be better for anal sex/play.

For personal time without toys or condoms, any lube is fine as long as you aren't sensitive to it, including oil based lubes. So yes, you can use coconut oil or shea butter for J-offing, it's be like a spa treatment for your dong.

All lubricants should be washed off afterwards.

KY Jelly or Astroglide. They both work well.

K-Y jelly