So my wife wants a divorce, and I have been using a new approach to stop it.?

First let me say - Good for you!!!

I would say that if you're following those steps then what you're doing is taking the things that she allows her self to get angry about, out of the picture. I mean can she really get mad at you for agreeing? Or for doing something she asked you to right away? Of course she can't. So now instead of living every day pissed off at one thing or another, she's remembering what it's like to be happy again.

Also, the other book/move I've heard good things about is Fireproof. The book tells you how to bring love back into your marriage and gives you a list of things to do every day.

My girlfriend actually told me all these things her husband has been doing lately and she got all giddy about it. Little did she know that I had already read the book, and gave her husband a lot of credit for reading it, and acting on it.

So maybe give that a try.

No one can change a physiologically unhappy person, meaning if ur wife is unhappy with herself neither u or any other man can "make her happy" My ex of 18 years was also beautiful and well educated, but had relationship ending self doubt about both. She used the same words to me about not loving me and bored with the marriage. I thought at that time divorce after 22 years of marriage was the worst thing to ever happen to me, forward to today, still have contact with her cause of the children we share, and I thank God every day that I am not with her. Reason, she continued in her unhappiness, drugs and alcohol became her best friend to feel and not think about her feelings of inadequacy. I couldn't live the life her present husband is today, so take ur wife's inventory and honestly do what is in ur best interests for the future.

Those methods may work for you. They will almost certainly backfire with many couples. If someone's bored with their relationship, being Mr. Agreeable all the time will send her out searching for Mr. Unpredictable. I'm a believer in the fact that boredom is the issue with the person that's bored, not their spouse. Just the same, surrendering your personality to your spouse's whims will only have her looking out the window even more in many situations.

Here is what I would suggest instead.

1) Stop pressuring, whining and complaining. (That one's fine).

2) Focus on the good in her. Find ways to give her compliments and positive feedback, whether it's about things she does for you, things she does for herself, or simply that you admire the person you're still married to.

3) Become a more positive person. Develop your career and hobbies in a way that you're more satisfied with yourself, and are a more interesting person to talk to.

4) Be willing to disagree with your mate occasionally, but do it respectfully and with a view to finding solutions. Avoid personal attacks, and listen to her side of the coin with the view to understand her.

5) Be more attentive to her. Showing interest in her interests, her special occasions, her work, even her medical issues -- not only will it make her feel like a more interesting person, it will improve the connection between the two of you also.

These are things that should be done before suggestions of divorce or "fallen out of love". Too often, we wait for hints of the D word before doing things that improve relationships no matter what.

In your case, I would really try to bring out what's going on in her life. Is she feeling a lack of purpose, health concerns, needing suggestions on how to do more with her time or simply feeling that life is too short? Don't just talk together, dream together. If she's already dreaming about someone else specific, you can't control that, but if you can talk about where you see yourselves in five years and it's a thoughtful conversation, then you know you've made progress.

Good luck.

You are such a nice guy that every girl would be happy to marry you, but it feels sad for ur wife that she does not see the truth and love in ur Heart. So now what i think is that sorry for saying this but read this, she must be having an affair with someone that's why she is ignoring you, and after divorce she must be going with him, do one thing see her mobile msg's and calls, collect the evidance, so that in case if divorce happens you can get clean cheat else she can get u into drowdry case or rape or any such things. So be smart i know you are but u have become blind in LOVE. Hope this helps..

Tell her that boredom is not a result of marriage, but a result of a lack of intellect and imagination on her part.

I never heard such a petulant, childish reason to think of divorce.

Tell her to get a hobby.

I would suggest the "Marriage Encounter Weekend" put on by the Catholic church for all denominations and faiths. Its about rebonding. I also would stay in my marriage bed while working on the marriage. I would do foot massages and whole body messages if she lets you. Please continue to let her know you love her..Pray for your marriage!

Where was the part about not getting couples counseling?

also get the book or movie Fireproof